loneliness~~~

loneliness~~~

covering my whole life~~~

suffering in my life~~~

i dont wana be alone~~~

im scared to be alone~~~

afraid of darkness in my life~~~

hope my life would be more colourful in some other day~~~


christmas=[not celebrating]
new year=[not celebrating]

being too faithful...

what can i do to make you stay?
what can i do to make you care about me?
what can i do to make you love me?
what can i do to make you satisfied?
what can i do to make you be by my side?
what can i do to make you stop clubbing?

the answer is:NOTHING THAT I CAN DO!!

i knew something which im not suppose to know..
sometimes i feel that i dono better than know..
once i know about it my heart will keep bleeding..
anyhow im not your gf anymore so you can do watever you like..
example went to clubbing wif gals n have FUN with them by kissing them n hug them..
you did that..i knew..
if you really want do so then just go ahead..
dont find me and talk rubbish with me..
dont tell my friend that you stil love me..
if you really still love me,you will think about me before you do something but too bad..
anyway,i hope you dont hang me but let me go..
maybe you let me go you will feel better and good for us..
dont hang me please..i feel so suffer..
i love you so much till now at last?
have you ever do something back?
the answer is NO!
you addicted to club..
no1 can help you except you urself..
i know you want to try something new..
maybe i being too faithful at last hurt back myself..
anyway enjoy your single life now..
i know you will feel much better than couple..
bi..take care..

i feel it back..

someone who i always wished him to come and meet me..
someone who i kept waiting all this while..
someone who i always miss..
someone who i love the most..
someone who i really love..
its you desmond mah..
you came and find me today..
i feel so suprize when i saw you once i close up de door..
even we talked just awhile but i feel so happy..
u kissed on my cheeks before you went off make me feel so warm..
thanks alot..
when i on my way back t home you called me again til i reach home cause you scared stranger will follow me..
i din know that you still so worried about me..
that time you were around my house..
so you decided to mit up awhile even just 10mins..
once i saw you my tears starts to 'rain'
i just cant control myself..
you cried on my shoulder..
you hug me tight..
you asked me not to cry..
i feel your love to me..
been long time dint feel it already..
you give me back the feeling that i lost it 2mnths ago..
can you please dun leave me anymore?
even we dint bk together but i just hope we can be like last tyme..
no arguement..
can we?

9/2

9/2

which is my birthday..

i dun wish to reach on tat day..

why cant i just stop de time?

i willing to b in 18 alwiz rather than 19..

evy yr i dint celebrate it..

tot tis yr i can celebrate it wif u bt u cant!

next year birthday would be my most unforgettable birthday...

de day tat u leave me in kl..

swollen!!

haiz...

stupid model..

useless de..

throw it awy beta.

i jz wan adjust de height of de model at my shp..

then it suddenly fell on my hnd n mk my hnd swollen lk pig hand..

swt....=.=

blue black purple dy..

haiz..

almost cry out tis mornin..

bt i jz kip quiet..

wash hair aso dam pain..

tats realy painful!!!!!

heart broken...

i have nothing to say....

i duwan to talk much as well...

i just know that my heart totally heart broken...

i saw something which im nt suppose to see it...

i saw it with my own eyes...

im too naive..

i cant give what you need...

i just hope you and her will happy ever after...

i just know my heart now broke into uncountable pieces..

dropping out tears because of you..

met up wif 5guyz!!!^^

wow...
im so hapi today tat i gt to met up wif 5 guyz..
which cm frm diff countries..
thre were frm singapore..canada n so on..
dey cm in my shp n buy clothes n dey try to b nc wif me..
1st of al dey mk a bet on me to guess hw old am i..
oli 2 guys correct n de others wrg n each of them nid to pay 10 bucks..
hhhaha..
mk a bet on me using $$...
al dey hv is jz $$$..
kip on askin me tis n tat mk me feel so hapi to chat wif them..
singaporean is NICE to chat wif!!^^
dey cm at 530 then i finish wrk at 6..
saw them at dwnstairs hangin arnd to buy sum stuff to go bk..
dey goin bk 2ml..
sad...
dey asked me to hv dinner wif them..
oh gosh!!tats great!!
we ate teppanyaki..
n dey hate it!!
cz oily..hahaha..
took alot of pic wif them..
bt dey hvnt send it to me tru facebook..
get to shppin wif them to buy stuff 4 their gf's..
help them to choose n bring them to de shop which suit them..
dey lk casual..
glad to met up wif them!hehe..
so frzly..
i realy enjoy wiff them evn awhile..
dey said wil kip in touch wif me..
hupfully dey wil kip their promise..
realy hup to them again 2ml 4 de last tyme..
wil miz u guyz alot..

scary man!!

my goodness...scary man..
thre is a malay guy follow me frm lrt station til i bk hm..
i nid to walk along tat road then oi i reach my condo de..
too bd he choosed me..!
haizz.
nw i go bk aso scared le..
i scared he noe i finish wrk at wat time.
at 1st he asked do i live here?then i said yes..
ask sumr hw much per month then i said duno cz nt i pay.
then hw start askin whre i wrk..
wrk at whre?
gt bf o nt?
y bf dun fetch me?
i said i no bf he dun trust me..sighh..
he said y my malay so fluent?
whre i study?
hw old?
then de alst que tat he ask b4 i step in2 my condo gate he said can i date wif u?
SWT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TIS IS NONSENSE!!!!!!!!
hw cm tis kind of thngs wil happen on me?
i jz scared he wil follow me once again cz i alwiz reach hm at de same time..
wat shud i du nw??T.T

SHOPAHOLIC!!

yuhhooo~~
hv a great day wif my close frz yi min n soh lou edison..
hehe..
went to sunway tis afternoon til nite..
tired~~
shp shp shp n shp..SHOPAHOLIC!!!>.<
realy fun to shp..
quite mny ppl n sales al arnd..
bought new shoes today..keke..
same wif y min le..diff clr..
nc nc~`
LK IT!!

watch quarantine again..
swt...=.="
ytd jz watched n then tdy watch again..
although i watched twice bt tat s2pid moie stil can scared me...
haizzz.
few parts mk me scream..
bt luckily nt me oli..
gt few gals behind us screamin lk hell..
[k bein rape]
hahahahah..
tat stry no point..no meanin..borin at de 1st..no stry line..
oli 40% 4 me..
dun watch it when ure eating..
DISGUSTING!!

im banana...

haha..
tis is nt a gd thng 4 me bt funi..
tis is hw 'banana'wil talk like..
i saw my frz at lrt station when i goin bk tat tyme..
v chat awhile oli cz lrt too mny ppl tat time til cant tok..
plus i kipon smelling those pakistan de ampit so.................
sighh...speechless....
i jz kip quiet cz too mny ppl n hv 2 sequeeze wif them n dey put up their hand tat time..
FUIYOHH....
lk few yrs dint bath..
hahahaha...
n so my frz go dwn at chow kit n me titiwangsa..
so b4 he step out of de train i asked him to bkful..
i spoke wrg wrds..
is actually 'xiao xing' rite?
i spoke dao 'chao xing'...swt...=.=
my frz luk at me awhile n i feel so paiseh tat time..
then i said sowie is actually xiao xing..
hahahha..
so s2pd of me...
tis is wat v called as banana..

Everydays~~~

everyday facing 4 white walls..
think many kinds of things..
there is always a question mark inside my head..
wondering is there anyone who i love the most?
if there anyone that i care the most?
or is there anything that i can do for you to make you happy?
i really hope i'll always be the 1st one's in your heart and im the most important for you..

EVERYDAYS~~~
everyday worried about you..
everyday when i was working and i'll wondering what are you doing right now?
everyday wanted to call you..
everyday wanted to hear your voice..
everyday hope that i can go out with you..
everyday hope that u will accompany me when i off day..
everyday hope that i'll find me..
everyday hope that i can see you..
everyday hope that you'll happy ever after..

funny guy

haha...wat kinds of stupiak thngs tat my frz did it today..
he cm n find me wif 2 of his frz..1 is kai sumthn n another wan is jia ming..
gosh!!tat jia ming dam luk lk wu zhun!!swt ...=.=
bt is oli side la..frm nt same jo..keke..
tat guy wan buy slipper n my wrkin place thre gt sell bt he said nt nc n went off..
dam shy guy..haha..

dy 2days been locked up at shp cant go break cz nt enuf crew..hv 2 ask other ppl da pou o delivery..
de whole bog shp oli i alone..sienz..bored to death!
i eat tomyam meehun at 130pm then arnd 3sumthn starts 'music' inside my stomach dy luckily my frz cm n find me..
i wanted to ask him buy sum food 4 me bt 2 bd 10 mr mins he nid go sing k wif his frz jo so i hv 2 tahan again..
suddenly tink of greenbox inside gt snack which v can tk as mny as v wan..
so i beh tahan ask him to bring sum snacks out lo..
actually i was jz jk oli i din noe tat he realy went n tk some snacks n put inside his pocket n gv it to me..
bt of cz wrap it wif tissue la..nt tat dirty la..
hahahhahahahaha..
when i saw his face i cant stop laughin..
DAMN FUNNY!!
can u imagine a guy did tat??hahahahahaha..put inside pocket sumr..haha..luckily nt erhmm..
hahahahhhahaahha..

part timer??$$??

haiz..
nx mnth gona b a dam free mnth..
a mnth 4 me to relalx myself..i guess..
my stupiak boss change me to part timer ar..haizz..
usually my wrkin place thre if full time 1 mnth gt 7days off bt part timer almost 12 days off..
haizz...
tis is nt cal wrk jo lo..
3days wrk 3days off..continuously off.
sighhh..
when de tyme i nid $$ de most god treat me lk tat..
haizzzz..
i gt alot of stuff to buy..
i nid use alot of $$ on dec n jan..
shit i can b lazy..
i nid to find a new job again..
if i stil continue tat job i tink i evydy nid to eat bread de la..
haha..i wan find a job which high salary de..whre neh?
so bd de boss..
i start wrk at oct 20th count as part time nvm lo..
nov gv me hapi awhile cz full time thn nw change me bk to prt time..
haiz...hate sei him!!n kik sei me..hump!!!

nite part time job??

hmm..been long tyme no update my blog le..so sowie yah..
wats new??hmm..
ytd saw bk my frz at sg$ lo while im wrkin..
dint c him 4 almost 2yrs..
he sicked..swt bt nw ok dy so he cm out bk n pou le.
hahah..stil so ego wif himself..bt he kinda..hmm..hard to say..
neway..when i was sittin at my chair then suddenly a gal cm n buy earrin..
when she wana pay $ tat tyme suddenly she ask me 4 num n said tat actually is her frz wan it de..n she said gt sum wrk wan intro to me..
so i jz gv lo..when i reach hm jo tat tyme i received mny cals frm unknown num..
so i jz dun k n ask them not to cal bt msg me..
thre is a num asked me wan wrk nite part time job??
i duno hu de hell is tat n i jz answered 'hmm..im nt interested in nite job stuff,sowie'
tats insane!duno wat kind of wrk is tat.
might be prostitude..ahhaha..
luckily im clever enuf..if nt..HABIS!!!
hahaha..
im wonderin hw cm dey wil choose me ar since sg$ stil gt mny other gals which much more beta lookin than me..rite??
weird la...=.=

will you accompany me??

im so hapi 4 being wif me..cant bliv tat u wil b wif me..thnx alot..wil appreciate evy min n sec being wif u..i du care 4 u..cz no matter hw u're de special one's in my heart..im hapi tat u stil k 4 me lk last tyme..u stil so lub me n k 4 me n i knew it..jz tat v're nt couple anymr..i duno wat my sis sms u bt u can jz ignore her de..she jz knew tat v broke up..no nid to explain much to her de la..u du so mny thngs jz du1 me so sad when u leave me ma..i noe de..u sil choosin whether wan go on 9th feb o 11th feb..both flight aso at mid9..too bd tat i cant accompany u to airport..haizz..i feel so sad 4 it..hup tat u wil choose 11th feb cz 9th feb on tat day itself is my birthdae..i dun hup to c u leave me on tat dae..at least accompany me pass my birthdae..cz im sure valentine day is impossible jo de la..de oli hup i hv nw is to pass my birthdae..tis is my last wishes frm u..i du1 to pass my 19 birthdae which full of sadness..i knew tat u aso dun hup to c me sad sad de..as long as u can accompany me on my birthdae i dy vy hapi de la..no matter thre is too mny swt memories btw me n u..i feel lk wan recall it bk altogether b4 u leave..du i hv tat chance to du so????

USELESS!!!

WAT DE HELL??oi..u tot im stupid o wat??i knew ur babi mouth say wan la..dun try to push it to other ppl..he is ur frz lai de..although he jz wrk thre 4 2wiks bt i noe his attitude is hw de..nt lk u..blady mouth dam it!kip on deny la nw..when u tok tat tyme so nice hor?wat de hell..nw i noe jor u deny n try to push to ur frz la..ei..get lost la..u lk me so wat??u say lk me wun say bad thng bout me??i dun ttink so lo..i rejected u as a frz aso..nt evn couple..u handsum so wat??attitude lk SHIT!!i tink atandard 6 student aso much mr matured than u evnthough u dy 17..dun tel me bullshit stuff la..lk me n those..i can be ur jie jie dy la..go ahead n find those seafood gal tat u wan la..sg$ gt alot..suit u la..al aso ply ply de..nt serious at al..monkey lub..go ahead la..i support u!n plz dun cm n find me n fan me..i du1 c u anymr..no mr my frz..enemy jiu gt..hate ur attitude de most..b guy til lk tat..useless!!!wat u noe??kau lui..kap lui..ply ppl's feelin..neh neh neh..xpecially after erhmm wif gal jo ar then jiu du1 them..tis is u la..tot u handsum wat aso can du a??duno y so mny gals blind n together wif u..xpecially ur gf nw..she dy gt bf de la..bt u stil wan be his 2nd bf n both of u said dun mind..wat de hell..speechless..be his bf dy nw then u say u lk me??u noe wats de meanin of fucker??tats u..fade up dy la..tired of scoldin u evydae..if im ur mum ar..i long tyme slap u dy..duno y u wil hv tis kind of attitude in urself!!tink bout it properly la......

fate???

today when i was alone at shp de whole dae i kip holdin it..its my ex gv me de present frm hk..bracelet..i evydae aso gt wear it to wrk..bt i lost it today when i on de way goin bk to hm..haizz..damn fuckin sad rite nw..y dun i jz kip it at hse?y mz i wear it??if i kip at hse sure wun lost it de..haizz..duno whre it fall..i kip on findin it arnd my hse area bt stil cant find it..at de same time my sis jz knew tat i broke up wif my bf..she so k bout me n ask me whether im ok wif it o nt..n she said tat 'i dun tink so diiwen dun lk u..he jz du1 me feel sad cz he leavin soon' sigh..after i heard tat frm her i feel mr sad..is tis fate??directly after she advice me tru sms then lost my bracelet jo..haizz...i appreciate al de thngs tat he gv it to me..i kept it al properly n nicely..bt too bd i lost it dy..haiz..hup he dun mind..bt i mind!!haiz..i lub it so much..he gv it to me together wif triangle de ar..so stupid of me..hate myself so much!!wil nv so stupid anymr....!!

FUCKER!!

WTF!!wat hv i done to u??plz kip ur asshole mouth shut b4 u gt frm me...!!!ur fucker mouth damn LJ!!ma de ar..u cm to my wrkin place thre jz to hv fun o wrk?u ply 2gals at de same time..cm to wrkin place jz to kau lui..kap lui..plz la wei..if u wan do so lz go other shops n wrk la..fourskin is a famous brand la..get lost la!!luckily my boss fired u..if nt i realy duno hw 2 face u evydae when wrkin..u're a fucker!tk my num tru comp..wat de hell..without my permission..de guy opp my shp wrk de ask jo so long aso hvnt gv ar..bt u..jz simply tk..kip on sms me..fuck off la!!so annoyin!!u ply gal's feelin..gal's lub..wtf!me as ur jie jie oli tel u ar..cz im older than u..stil say u wan chase me??chase ur grandma la..if i gt such bf i tinki beta go die!!u cant evn b my frz..u dy 17 de la..stil so childish..kip on sayin ppl bd stuff..HELO!u tink urself vy PERFECT izit??i noe u lengzai..tall..fair..rich mayb bt plz la..v aso human k??v aso gt feelin wan k?say my bd thngs wif my frz n dey told me..wat de hell!!if can i realy wana burn up ur fucker mouth!tot u lengzai can simply say ppl izit??say infrnt of my shp de gal fat lk pig la..smell lk babi panggang la..tis n tat..wat de fuck??as if u smell her body b4..plz la..dun simply say ppl..u'll get it al bk someday!watch out ur mouth..u as a guy til so worst..pull dwn other guy de image!!absolutely urself too!!mny of my shop de crew aso hate u la..sumr alwiz cm to my wrkin place thre disturb..i c ur face aso feel lk slapping u!!dun hup 2 c u anymr.....!!

fake hair??

yer...y izit so mny ppl ask me whether y hair fake o nt a??haiz..realy du lan lo..luk fake meh??i dun tink so..cm n pull my hair mai noe lo..i noe its long bt dun la alwiz ask..sighh..ORIGINAL wan la!!ask me whether i gt du hair extension o nt...haiz..i noe la nw mny galz usin fake hair..duno wat de purpose..gt original hair du1 bt wan fake wan..sigh..stp askin me those que..so silly..!!i say nt fake hair then dey wil said 'oh yameh??luk lk hair extension..' swt..sick of it..dun bliv then dun ask..hump..hair long aso gv ppl say..sigh..wan change new hairstyle jo..stil thnkin which hairstyle nc..curl??yer du1 luk old..straight??mr sei..dam sienz wif tat jo...haizzz...tink of totally change my luk by permin my hair k maggi mee..hahaha..gd idea??if nt gv sum idea ba..

fatter n fatter...

wah....im gettin fatter n fatter..nt slimmer n slimmer..ytd gt 3 frz cm to my wrkin place n find me..1st is he buy me meiji panda biscuit which is my favourite flavour is strawberry bt he buy chocolate..2nd he bought 1 big bar of chocolate plus 1 smal box of chocolate almond..plus watch..he bought it at penang..haha..duty free..keke..3rd 1 big bar of chocolate again..swt..ytd cant stp receivin chocolate frm my frz..haha..then 2dae 1 of my kem frz suddenly sms me said tat gt sumthn wan gv me bt actully is sweets..nc le..she said she promised me b4 n she realy du..hehe..thnx alot..muax..sigh...when i wan go bk tat tyme suddenly my frz cm n find me n gv me a big bar of chocolate again..swt..=.= non-stp receivin chocolate..although its my favourite bt im dieitin de neh..dey seems lk purposely du1 let me diet..each tyme when i saw al de chocolate i bbeh tahan wan eat de la..haizz..bt i alwiz say to myself NO!!!say YES to myself tat i can slim dwn within 2mnths..i hv to control my food neh..haizz..duno wat i wil receive 2ml..tis time 'chocolate' frm washroom..hahahaha...

LIFE.......

wat de hell..nw i noe y b human so suffer..haiz..4 boy sufferin of career..4 gal lk me sufferin of wat???????DIET!!!swt..dieting rite nw!!fuhhh..dam suffer!cant eat tis n tat..im drnkin sum kind of tea to diet de..haiz..damn suffer..stomach pain de whole dae n i spend almost de whole dae inside de toilet..haiz..i nid stick to de toilet frm time to time..well u noe 'those thng' wil cm out anytime wat..so i nid run to de toilet to......hehe..ops!!it sounds so disgusting..im sowie..>.< jz sharin my experience in toilet wif u guyz..haha..last yr i gt drnk other brand then nw drnk other brand again..mk my stomach wateva shit aso gt..most ma fan is durin wrkin tat tyme EPECIALLY when servin customer then suddenly....owhhh...haizz..hate it!!bt wat to do..either 'erhm' in de pants o rush to de toilet..sighh..guyz out thre..c la..its nt easy 4 gal to kip fit..realy hrd..wats de point of gal kip on diet??y al gal wish to hv nc body shape?al bcz of GUY lo..sighh..guy realy hoi sei yan..hehe..al guyz aso hup tat their gf hv nc body shape so tat when bring them out aso feel proud..sighh..guyz alwiz wan FACE!!haha...galz alwiz wan beauty....tis is wat v called as LIFE....................

stupid?hapi?free?

yer..evydae wrk..1mnth 7daes off..when i wrk i dun hup to wrk..when i off i hup 2 wrk..means i duno wat i wan aso..sienz neh..off aso go ts n sg$ oli..no other place to go aso..haizz..no bf accompany me..frz al aso bz wif their stuff..luckily i found 1 of frz hu alwiz willin to help me o pui me..alwiz find me da pou cz he jz wrk at LOT10 oli mer..so near..today v jz went out n hv movie together..1 is vampire admired me n another 1 is tropic thunder..wat a stpid shw..bt funi la..tat stupid vampire mr stupid..kip on takin off their clothes..sighh..shwin off their BOOBS..nt vy big aso wat..shw wat neh?huh?oh ya guyz out thre..tat movie gd 4 u al..hhahaha..MUST watch it!!neway 4 me is quite bored la..jz sum prt scared dao ppl oli..bt de ghost prt is dam fake..nt evn lk ghost aso..jz put n fake teeth oli ma..cheh..i aso can be la..cheh..haha..neway a life without partner in life aso quite fun de..i noe is bored bt i can entertain myself in de other way..p/s:dun tink neg thng ar..haha..find frz to go out hang gai aso quite fun de actually..jz tat dey r nt my bf oli..hv 2 suit myself fast in it so tat my ex no nid so wry bout me..i alwiz mk him wry bout me cz of my thnkin..nw mai nth jo lo..v stil gt cntct..mr close than last tyme..wateva rubbish aso tok de..hehe..feel so hapi to c him lk tat nw..no mr worries,sad n responsibility..both of us nw can continue our life lk usual..hehe..hapi go lucky...!!=)

i respect u...

hmm..since he choosed to leave me..i cant du anythn..al i nid 2 du dy done..begged him??YES..say sowie to him??YES..try to get him bk??YES..nt to let tis relationship let go so easily??YES..i dy du my part..bt he stil dun k bout it..n i asked him ytd nite..he stil lub me??de ans is NO..he said nw oli can be close frz..so i respect his decision..wat he wan du then jz let him be..he gt de RIGHT to mk any decision cz v're nt married..he's stil available to choose any1 he lk..i jz can pray 4 him in de future n wish him al de best in wateve he du..he alwiz vy careless in duin thngs de..ply fb til al his body injured xpecially his leg..alwiz dun drnk wtr de bt 100plus..notti boi..i evn put his name notti boi in my cntct list..keke..=p nw im ok dy..i dy thnk jor long tyme le..i dy du my prt..he dun appreciate me n tis relationship is his wish..i cant force him to lub me cz he dy dun lub me anymr..i hv to let him go so i aso feel much beta rather than sufferin alone..which my frz alwiz said i 1 sided lub..no point of it!!n tat's TRUE!he decided to go tis way go let him go ahead ba..he happi then i aso hapi..lub sum1 no nid to hv him de..as long as he's hapi then i aso feel hapi 4 him..nw i feel much beta wif my single life same goes to him i guess..evnthough i prefer to b in relationship..so by nw i wun be in lub so fst yet..i learnt frm him..n he teached me alot of thngs..wil alwiz rmb it de..in tis 1yr n 8mnths i realy vy hapi to b wif him..n seriously i realy appreciate our relationship vy much..wil kip our memories as de sweetest memories btw cheah may see n desmond mah..i du lub u wif al my heart n soul..tk k alwiz n u'll alwiz be in my heart 4eva n eva..

please come back to me...

once mr im so dam hurt deep inside my heart..no mood to du anythn aso..jz feel dwn evydae..bt of cz when i was wrkin i canot shw my sad face to them la..i nid pretend tat im hapi aso..i HAVE to..i noe i hv 2 sty strong bt im tryin nw..i dy try nt to tink of u bt i cant..my mind kip on refresh bk our memories when v together..wat can i du to mk u bk to my side?wat can i du to mk u feel hapi wif me??no matter hw hrd i aso can du..jz tat u dun evn wana gv me a chance to do so..i realy lub u wif al my heart n soul..y cant u jz let me be wif u in tis 3mnths since last tyme when i go ns 4 3mnths u aso can wait 4 me..its nt easy to wait sum1 i noe..bt its nt easy 4 me to 4gt u n b lk normal frz wif u..i realy CANT!!!evydae when i woke up i hupi can c ur msg..i hup 2 c u..i realy miz u alot..y cant u gv us a chance to be together??u dun scared of wasting my tyme..i DUN feel it at al!!my tyme is alwiz 4 u my dear..other than u i duno hu is beta than u..i evn tk u as a prt of my life o mayb mr than a part..u alwiz said tat i gt admirer n i can choose any1 of them..u tink i wil?evn i gt admirer bt de oli person hu i lub is u desmond mah..bi..i realy hup u can gv us a chance to b together til u go aus..plz bi..i can gv as much as freedom u wan..plus nw im wrkin dy no much tyme tob wif u so dun wry of nt gvin u freedom..i WILL!!plz dun waste our tyme le..v dy nt much tyme to b together..i realy appreciate evy moment wif u..plz trust me n gv me a chance bi..i realy lub u so much...i realy miz u alot..plz cm bk 2 me......plz bi.........

I REALLY LOVE U!!

i type tis blog is after i argue wif him..wif al my tears coverin my face..n drop dwn to my leg..seriously i realy din argue wif u..i realy wan tok wif u in a nc way jz tat u cant control ur hot temper..i realy cant put dwn tis relatinship so easy..i realy cant!!im weak in tis matter..y u can jz mk such decision in so sudden??u hurt me so serious tis tyme..i realy du hurt me so deep!!!tis is my 1st tyme lub a guy so deep inside n hurt til so deep!!i get dump by him..m useless..nt evn suit him at al..he is nt satisfied of wat im duin 4 him al tis while..mayb im nt gd enuf..im hopin tat 1dae god wil return him bk to my side bt nw i noe is impossible..he's hatin me nw..he hate to talk wif me..hate to msg me..he hates al de thng tat i du..each tye when i tink of those swt memories when together i feel so heart broken..hw cm he cant be lk last tyme so lub me..so k bout me..WHY???thre is alwiz que btw me n him..i noe he's de most understnd me de guy..oli he can read wat i nid n wat i wan..tats wat mk me so lub him..n he admitted tat i lub him mr than he lub me..i dun mind..i can tolerate him 4 evythn..lub sum1 is nt askin them to change bt accept their weaknessess..im changin n acceptin bt he du1 me to do so..al he wan is to break wif me..tat wil mk him feel mr hapi..he doesnt wan ans my phne at al..which means he realy hate me..i did alot of thng which mk him hate me alot..i realy feel myselfso useless..cant be apart of his life..bt he took al my life!!bi..i realy miz u alot..plz dun jz leave me lk tat can ma??i wan accompany u til u leave..i du1 u to mk such a decision 4 no reason n i hv 2 accept it wif my broken heart..plz let me go tru it wif u til de end can ma????i beg u plzzz cm bk 2 me.......

YOU DECIDED IT..

today after i finish wrk at 6pm i straight received a msg frm him..he ask me when oli i off..so i said tis sun i off..so he asked me to go out eat lunh wif him cz he gt sumthn to discuss wif me..i kip on wonderin wat he wil talk wif in de conversation..actually i du1 to c him bt i hv 2 face de fact..no matter wat ans he gv me i hv 2 accept it..i tot sun would b gd news bt he actually decided to break wif me de..he said v jz go out lk normal frz oli..n dun argue wif him..i dun feel lk argue wif him at al..jz wan be wif him til he leave me..cz he wil be goin aus to continue his study nx yr feb..time pass by realy fst..haiz..he dun evn let me 2 b wif him in tis 3mnths..im so heart broken..he wan me to be independent n learn to live without him..he tnk he du al tis is 4 my own gd bt 4 me no..he dun evn ask 4 my opinion n he mk such a decision..1yr 8mnths de relationship jz lk tat???he's my 1st bf which is de longest bf being wif me as wel..so i appreciate him vy much n i put al my heart n soul onto tis relationship..bt at last??i jz wan b wif him til he leave me..lk tat aso cant??y god wan treat me lk tis??WHY????i realy wanted to shout I LOVE U tis wrd to him once mr..I MIZ U 2..last time he promised me tat wil let me be wif him til he leave me bt nw..he suddenly changed his mind..wat to do?i realy duno..sun.........i duno wat wil happen on tat dae...al i nid 2 du is jz wait.....

mood swing~~

today is 30th oct 2008..my bf went to clubbin wif his frz once mr..de last clubbin tat he went was on 23th oct 2008..i duno y he wan go so offen bt neway i trust him tat he wun du sumthn which is bd n nt gd..de purpose im lettin him go jz 2 gv him mr freedom n du wat he wan..if he realy changed his heart i aso cant du anythn bt jz accept de fact!he make my mood swing~~sad~~depressed~~feel dwn~~wat can i du??i wan him 2 accompany me bt he alwiz nt free cz he's tryin to mk himself bz by goin gym alwiz..he tryin to escape frm me..wat can i du then??jz follow wat he's duin..i jz wan him hapi..tat's al..dae by dae..waitin 4 his ans..no mr hapi blog..bt sad blog.been dwn 4 1 wik..ytd he told me tat he wil find me today after i finish wrk bt at last??he went to clubbin wif his frz n i walkin alone lk no whre..searchin 4 frz 2accompany me..haizz..is thre realy sum1 hu realy can accompany me??been long tyme alone walkin after wrk..duno whre 2 go..hv no way n place to go..realy hup tat he can spend sum time wif me..as wat he used 2 cal me last tyme which is 'ma fan ren'..troublemaker..tat name realy suit me..i alwiz gv him trouble..i miz his voice callin me 'ma fan ren'..i realy miz him alot..bi..if u gt read tis blog plz mk it clear..i realy trust u..i realy lub u deep in my heart..i hv no way to 4gt u o lettin u go by nw..i cant sty strong..im so weak..plz dun force me..i cant du it..i can tolerate u no matter hw u treat me bt hrdly to let u go..im sowie..4gv me plz...[I LUB U] [I MIZ U]

I'M USELESS!!!I'M A JERK!!!

hmm..at last i waited 4 him so long..he msg me last mid9..chat wif him tru msn ytd nite til 2am..n i slept at 3am cz i realy cant slp well ytd nite n woke up at 6am..jz slp 3hrs..sigh..eyes swell lk panda!go skul al my classmate ask me wat happen to my eyes..i dint tel them my prob at al..i duno y jz dun feel lk tellin them..jz wan kip quiet n blurt out al in blog bt nt them..tat's hw i feel..after knowin my 2nd bf which is my blog..i feel tat myself gettin mr quiet than b4..dun lk 2 share my feein wif other ppl bt blog..sigh..today he gt fine me..bt jz 2 pass bk my LG phne 2 me..hup to c him longer bt he hv 2 rush bk cz nid du sum other thng..nt evn 1 min tyme..bt im hapi tat he cm find me evnthough its jz 1 min..its mr than enuf!he's much mr beta than b4..stil gt sms me bt less..dint cal me le..miz his voice so much..1day nt evn 10sms i guess..bt at least he gt sms me..stil y clear in my mind which he said duno y evytyme when he find me he feel so angry n his tempere starts to cm..i feel so hurt when i hear tat kind of wrds cm out frm his mouth..heevn said he vy hrd 2 communicated wif me..mayb tats true!!i duno hw 2 tink 4 him..i duno hw 2 be his perfect gf..im nt his misses right!im a jerk!nt suit 2 being wif him..he lub freedom bt i cant gv to him..wan he wan i aso cant gv him..im useless..im a JERK!!nt worth 4 him to lub me anymr..shudnt b wif him at 1st..wasted his 2yrs time wif me..

dear desmond.listen up..no matter wil u read tis blog o nt tis msg is especially 4 u..go ahead wif wat u hv decided..dun alwiz change ur mind..i respect ur decision..i wil du..u jz du wat u feel tat its rite..im ok wif it..go ahead n achieve wat u realy nid..i'll alwiz b by ur side n support u al de way n pray 4 u as well..du tk k of urself..

please return him to me...

today dy 2nd day he din cal me..sms me..o even msn..ytd nite i waited him 4 so long til 2am..usuallly i wil slp at 12sumthn bt duno y ytd cant slp at al til 2am..sighh..no respond frm him at al..til nw..sobb..wat does tat mean??finish?o jz gvin us sum time 2 calm dwn??i dy calm dwn long tyme ago n i din angry at him at al..jz tat he too ovr limit on sumthn tat he done..he told me tat he nid freedom..mayb he's enjoyin his freedom without me rite nw..al he nid nw is single life..tis is wat he told me last 2days til i cry out infrnt of so mny ppl at sunway..tats nt gd!i jz cant stp cryin once he called me..i so miz him rite nw..i wan2 hear his voice..i wan2 hug him..bt wat i can du nw is jz can imagine..he's nt thre 4 me when im sad..i duno hu to find accept blog..evn nw im bloggin i aso cryin infrnt of my laptop..i feel lk evythn gone in jz blink of eyes..y god wan2 treat me lk tis??izit bcz i du too mny bd thngs??i realy duno...plz tel me..plz help me 2 get bk my bf desmond mah..i realy lub him so much..i cant stp missin him evn when im slepin..i alwiz put my hp beside my bed so tat he can find me anytyme..bt dae by cae..hours by hours..min by min..sec by sec stil no sms o cal frm him..o evn sumtymes i dun dare 2 slp cz i scared he'll msg me at mid9..i long tyme no type sms to him which i put his name on my phne 'notti boy'..long tyme no type 'bi' tis wrd 2 him..can i hear it jz once??i dun tink so i gt de chance..im totally dwn rite nw..without him beside me 2 cheer me up i feel life is so........sighh...does any1 noe hw 2 stp me frm cryin??and so im pryin to god 2 return my dear desmond mah 2 me................

sad or happy??

hmm..im wonderin rite nw..today izit a happy dae 4 me o a sad dae 4 me as well??hm.hapi cz i gt 2 close frz of mine accompany me today cz dey noe i nt hapi tis few daes cz of my bf..v kip on laughin around n foolin around..tink of them aso feel so crazy!!haha..wif their funi lookin face..hahahaha..cant stp laughin!n v ate de whole dae aso..duno whre 2 go cz ts n sg$ vy sienz le..go here n thre aso de same place..v jz sit inside restaurant n chit chat lo..take pic wif our dummy face on..haha..in addition today is deepavali..as a malaysian v shud celebrate it aso..ops!o mayb nt!1sowie..duno wat im sayin..=.= de prob im nt hapi bcz i waited de whole dae 4 my bf 2 cal me o msg me bt stil dint receive any cal frm him yet..sighh..missing him damn alot..both of my side aso my frz bt inside my mind is thnkin of my bf..n kip on takin out my hp n c whether he gt msg me o nt..sighh..dy 5days dint c him le..i miz him alot bt i duno he gt miz me o nt?i alwiz wndrin wat's he duin rite nw??i wanted 2 cal him bt i du1 disturb him 1st cz he nid sum time 2 tink whether shud v stil together o nt..al i hv 2 du is be patient while waiting 4 his ans..no matter wat is his final decision i hv 2 accept de fact..al i can say is jz [I LOVE U]..

Love me not??

wat can we say bout love??wat can we say bout in lub wif sum1??is thre realy a lub btw both of them o jz 'monkey lub' which plying around n fooling around??sumtymes i realy feel weird y gal n guy must be loved by each other a??y must dey be 2gether??jz 2 hv baby??o jz 2 hv sweet memories btw them..hmm...i realy duno...hw gd if a couple together nt without argue bt less argue..so jealous some of de couple so sweet n can last long..realy salute them!!tis is de 1st tyme i being wif a guy 4 1yr 8mnths..i tot i realy found my true lub le..i tot he'll lub me alwiz n wun hurt mr bt nw i noe al guyz cant b trusted!!i gv him wat he wan..bt he take it granted!i control him abit he dun lk..wat can i du then??tis nt tst nt..haizz..today early in de morn we argued..mk me cry til my eyes swallow lk shit!then evenin he called me again n argue wif me..cried infrnt of mny ppl sumr cz im at sunway tat tyme..so paiseh!!i jz cant hide my feelin..i tryin to mk myself nt 2 tink bt i cant..i kip on laughin lk those gal cm out frm tg.rambutan..mk myself excited bt it jz frm outside nt inside..he called me bt argue wif me..i realy duno wat he tink..n jz nw 10sumthn he called me again..argued abit bt nt realy argue..jz my mood swing n mk me kinda fieerce so i fast fast say i gv him sum tyme 2 tink carefully wat he wan b4 he made his final decision!then i jz put den de phne if nt ii scared i'll say wrg things..i du1 2 hurt him o gv he stress anymr cz he dy vy stree up wif his car which spoil dy 3days ago..plus his parents kip mumble him tis n tat n mk him feel so annoyin..i'll stand at his side n tink 4 him as well jz tat he duno..al i can du nw is jz gv him sum tyme 2 calm dwn himself so he wun mk wrg decision..=(

is there anyone??

hw cm be in a relationship so hrd a??y izit so complicated??cant mk it simple??im in teribble sad tis few days...cz of my bf dint listen to me..i dy tolerant wif him bt stil he dun realize his fault..wat can i do 2 mk tis relationship bk lk last tyme??i din angry him..i jz kip my mouth shut when i noe he go clubbin..evnthough i dun lk he go bt i hv 2 let him go..wat he wan du i gv him du..wat he wan i aso gv him..bt at last wat i get?did he realy understnd hw i feel??when he in bd mood scold me..when he in mood??find hu?sure nt me..i dy try my best to tolerant him..bt did he appreciate me??i blurt out al my feelin jz tru tis blog..n my best frz..other than tat no1 can un me well..sumtymes i realy feel lk wan2 find sum1 to talk wif bt thre is alwiz no1 thre 4 me..al i can du is jz cryin alone inside my room coverin wif pillow so tat my parents duno..is thre realy sum1 hu willin to share me their shoulder........??

wat am i suppose to do??

haizz..im so sad today~~early in de mornin i received a msg frm my frz told me tat he saw my bf at MOS..last tyme i dun evn gv my bf go clubbin at al cz i noe once guyz go thre sure du sumthn which dey duno de..tat's y i dun let him go..bt after i go 2 ns on mac then he started 2 go wif his frz le..i HV 2 accept de fact cz i cant alwiz stp him frm goin aso..he gt his own rite..so on tat dae onwrds i told him..if he wan go clubbiin can...jz nid 2 tel me by sms-ing me a msg tat he's goin to clubbin nw..bt stil he dint do so..1st tyme he go without telin me make us hd an arguement..then tis morn which is ytd mid9 he go is de 2nd tyme he dint tel me..i realy dun understand..he jz nid 2 tel me by sms me oli ma..lk tat aso vy hrd izit??he kip on doin tis kind of thng wil mk me feel tat he at outside gt other gal..hu wont angry if he do tis kind of thng 2 his own gf??some more v dy almost 2yrs la..stil wan lie me..i realy duno wat's in his mind..al i noe is he kip on lying me..i duno wat's de purpose of it!!i stil rmb wat my best taught me..she said..each tyme when i feel sad o angry at him jz tink of hapi moment wif him..n it realy wrks..so nw wat i nid 2 du is jz calm dwn myself n tink positively..i jz hup he wil understnd me 1 dae..plus he wun noe hw i feel cz he dun evn read my blog..sighh..im realy sad today....TOTALLY SAD........

STRESS UP!!!

haiz...duno y nowadaes after i wrk feel stress up la..nt bcz of wrk actually..jz feel sumthn wrg wif me!!mayb i create it my own o wat i aso duno..1st is bout skul!!2nd is wrk!!3rd my parents!!i duno whether myself create it out o wat..jz feel so uncomfortable..nt bcz of wrkin actually.!!duno wat i tinkin nwadaes..feel lk mny thngs cm in my mind so sudden!!aiyer..human's life realy so complicated!!full of challenge!!haizz..tis is hw life goes on............

DEPRESSED!!

wat's goin on??i realy duno hw 2 bcm a promoter either a gd worker..al dy tried my best 2 satisfied it bt stil i dun un y dey willk tis..2dae 1st dae of wrkin i bcm so frzly wif them..usually im nt tat frzly neway..dey so cool 2me..nt as in nt frzly o wat..jz dey way dey being..i feel so uncomfortable when wrk wif them..usually i wrk at other places vy enjoy y job tat's time pass by vy fst..bt 2dae i oli wrk 8hrs dy tired lk shit n so BORED!!!no customer..nth 2 talk wif those worker..evn when i smile 2 them,dey jz pretend duno anythng..wat de hell??did i du anythn wrg?damn f***ing thng is CANT ue hp at al!!!!!til u go bk oli can tk hp!!tis is ridiculous..!!whre gt ppl wrk til lk tat??i realy duno hw those worker thre can wrk in tat company!!i raly beh tahan dy..soon gona find new wrk again!!HAIZZZ...

you're my everything!!muax..

ARHHHH!!!so swt of my bf..he bought a phone 4 me today which is LG KU990...I'M LOVING IT!!!i wanted to buy it long tyme ago d le..at last my bf buy it 4 me today..actuallyy he said 2ml oli buy de bt i du1..kip on annoying him..at last he realy go buy it 4 me..OMG!!im so damn hapi!!i realy speechless..too hapi!!gosh!at de same tyme i found new job le..at sg$ 2nd flr fourskin..hehe..nt bd nt bd!!i quite lk it..enviroment la of cz..2ml start wrk le..huh..MZ BE TIRING!!=.=

love luck??

triangle??square??NOP!!segiempat tepat??NOP!!is lub luck!!wat can v say bout triangle??wow..mny kind of diff stories bout it aso..as wat they said..when sum1 choose triangle..dey canot choose!once u saw it means u mz buy it!tis is wat i heard frm other ppl la..real o nt im nt sure bout tat..bt logicially tink la..de ans is yes lo..cz triangle gt mny kinds of clr..which can mk us feel nt 'loyal'..haha..tis is de photo of my triangle wher my bf bought it 4 me at hk plus a bracelet..im so suprize when my bf buy tis 4 me..cz when i alwiz pass by triangle shp n i kip annoyin infrnt of my bf he aso dun k n wun buy it 4 me de..duno y he suddenly go hk n buy it 4me..tis is wat mny ppl said..guy wun alwiz shw out hw deep dey lub their gf til its de rite tyme of it..nw i realy bliv in it!tat's de TRUE!!!

WHAT'S WRONG WIF ME?

my goodness..wats happenin to me?wats wrg wif me?am i ugly?o im too choosy??i ask fur job in few shps..bt 1 aso du1 hire me..wat de hell..izit im 2 ugly 4 them??at 1st they said wan hired me then went de nx dae i called them 4 double confirmation then dey said fulled..wat de hell??i realy duno hw 2 find wrk anymr..y izit nwadaes so hrd 2 find wrk??o yet im nt qualify 2 be in their shp??bt they r jz sellin clothes..bt their clothes is kinda diff frm others la..kinda special..tats y i choosed tat job..bt..sighh...mayb bcz of im choosy..ya ya ya..it al my fault!!stress up til duno y suddenly i went n piers my belly..wat de..i scared of it long tyme ago bt suddenly i wanted 2 du it..realy so SUDDEN!!neway..today is my worst dae in mth of oct!!

I LOVE YOU!!!

hmmm..my bf cm bk frm hk ler..mizz him alot..dy 3daes din hear his voice ler..at last i mit him up today..we went out de whole dae..so hapi!hehe..he bought me alot of stuff frm hk..n i lk it vy much..hehe..din noe tat he realy lub me n sek me so much..cz v hv been though so mny thngs n i tot he changed bt actually nt..jz tat im 2 sensative sumtymes..bt after today i noe hw's his heart 2me le..proud 2 hv him as my bf..lub u bi!!u bought de thng tat i wan it long time ago which is 'triangle'!!de purpose i wan u 2 buy it cz i hup u wil oli lub me n ur heart alwiz alwiz be wif me..de triangle tat u bought it sure vy nc and mean alot 2 me cz de 1st triangle tat u c it tats de 1 tat u nid 2 buy it..canot choose choose de!thnx bi..muax..u bought me few jackets so tat i wun get cold when i wrkin..i bought me chocolate cz tats my favourite..u bought me bracelet cz i find tat design 4quite sum time at last u found it at hk..u bought me popteen magazine cz u du1 me get bored when i nth 2 du..thnx bi..i realy lk it!!MUAXXX!!!!!!

nice job??

yuhhooo..i found my job at sg$ 1st floor..can say as they fulfill of wat i wan la..almost de same wif my last tyme wrkin place..their clothes quite unique..bt 2bd they nid part tyme nw..im findin 4 full tyme anyway..so i requested them 4 me 2 wrk full time..nid wait til 2ml oli i noe de ans..if nt 2ml i can start wrk de ler..sighh...nowadays find a job aso hrd..duno bcz im fussy o wat..haizz..i wanted 2 wrk freelancer job bt al aso no respond after i sent my profile them..wat de..=.= mayb im 2 ugly 4 them..sigh..and sumr de job tat i found it nw duno nc o nt..jz lk their shp oli..haha..swtt..

hw to find a good job??

sighh..im so sick of findin job nw..i went to sg$..ts..o evn pavillion..i noe sg$ gt mny vacancy bt i stil cant find de job tat i wan..neway im kinda fussy person so im kinda particular in findin job..jz hup 2 find a job which kinda free n nth much 2 du cz im lazy..>.<>.<

HAPPY DAY!=)

hmm..duno y im so happy de whole dae..mayb its bcz my bf came bk frm hk today lo..hehe..he din cal me..mayb he otw cmin bk kl..miz him alot..at de same time my skul dint study 4 whole dae 2dae after my 7daes exam..my exam 2dae oli takes 1hr..fuhhh!!NOW im FREE!!haha..findin job nw!n my bf promised me b4 tat he will bring me go gentin n sunway lagoon ply de..YEAH!!!i gt bk my muet exam ppr aso 2dae..n i noe my ovr all marks ler..i gt band3..tat's nt vy gd bt anyhw in my class highest oli gt band4..haha..so i dun tink so tat i gt bad result rite?am i??haha..bt i stil quite hapi wif my result la cz i dint study at al aso can get band3..haha..stupid de me!yuhooo...i get 2 receive my souvenir frm my bf ler..i wonder wat he wil buy 4 me??hehe..no matter wat he buy i sure wi lk it de cz he understand me vy well..bt im fan-ing bout my job..findin 4 job nw bt i duno whre 2 wrk at..sigh..any job can intro 2 me??NO BUTT SELLING!BOOBS AS WELL!!HAHA..=)

life is so complicated!

whre??y??sigh..duno y kinda moody in tis few days..stress up wif exam??arguement wif frzZ??miz my bf which i din hear his voice 4 2daes dy..??o mayb myself mk al tis thng happen??i realy duno..last week i went out wif my frz jz feel moody n du1 to talk much..evn 2ml is my last dae of my final exam bt stil i dun feel hapi wif it..suddenly feel lk no1 k bout me..feel so lonely..i wan2 hear my bf's voice..duno hw's his condition nw..im wonderin wat he duin rite nw..at de same time im fan-ing in findin job..as i noe my old place which i wrk thre last yr wan2 close up ler..so duno whre 2 find nw..haizz...life is complicated!!cant v jz mk it mr simple??i wonder y human's life is jz lk tat??sum said our life vy long bt sum said vy shrt jz lk candle..bt du u agree wif tat??i realy duno..at least nw i stil can continue my life wif al those happiness tat my bf gv it 2 me..bt after he go to aus,ALL tis thng gone in jz blink of eyes..each tyme when i tink of it i jz feel my life so EMPTY!NO COLOURS!wat he gona du ovr thre??i noe he went 4 his studies bt wat can i du here then??wait 4 him?leave it??o jz 4gt bout our 2yrs relationship??sighh...v cant predict wat would happen in de future bt i can imagine hw my life go on after he leave me..i cant stp him frm goin..i hv no rite 2 du tat neway..tis is 4 his own future..i MUST let him go no matter hw..al i nid 2 du is jz pray 4 him alwiz n wish him al de best in his life in aus..wil lub him so much!!!!!oh gosh!!wat de hell am i duin rite nw?oh yea..im jz tellin it out without knowin it..sigh..tis is me..s2pid of me!

bored day!

me ar...he ar..she ar..sigh...duno la..early in de morn i find frz 2 go out wif me cz i lub 2 go out on weekends rather than jz sty at hm nth 2 du..tis is me!!i mai find my best frz lo..A cant pui me..so i went n find B which is my ex n aso close frz of mine..evnthough v couple b4 bt our frzship stil so close..nt mr than tat of cz!im hvnin my bf at de same time..i lub him so much..so i wun do sumthnn which betrays him de!!I LOVE U MY DEAR DIIWEN!!i went wif my net frz..kinda bored..4 de 1st dae v went out quite hapi de bt sunthn occured btw us so nw mk our frzship gt sum prob..i duno hw 2 describe his attitude bt de way he treat me kinda diff..n i feel nt comfortable when wif him..aARGHHHHH!!so i quickly called B n he went to orphanage hse..sigh...nid 2 wait 4 him so long til my moustache aso grwin longer n longer..sigh..bt wat can do?wait him til 430..anyhw de movie starts at 400..he late ler!!when in movie watch tat stupid house of bunny!!wat de!!although its funi bt 4 me kinda bored..no point!!kip on shwin their BIG BOOBS!!huh??go bk tat time hv sum arguement wif B sumr..tat tyme i dy nt in mood n feel moody bt stil gt stupid prob happen..haizz..anyhw its nt a big deal!duno y de whole dae feel lk 1 kind!!it makes my dae so bored after al findin al mt frz..sigh!!frz a frz 2 go out wif me aso hrd!!human life was so complicated!!=.=

worry bout u bi!

sob..today early in de morn i dy wake up ler..wanted 2 cal u bi bt u off ur phone..i noe ur flight is at 9 am..i wk up late ler...i 830 oli wk up u dy in flight ler i guess so..newy..u're goin 4 ur hk trip wif ur frz..it sounds so fun..2bd i cant follow u..i totally wry bout ur safety nw..well u noe tat u dy involved in 8 accidents in tis 2yrs..frnt bk side top twist evy part u aso bang b4 ler..i realy du1 tis kind of thng happen on u again..u're 1 n de oli 1 i lub..i du1 sumthn bd happen on u..it realy mk me mad!!4 example when i was in ns tat tyme u were in hosp 4 few daes..siggh..when u called me n told me tat u're in hosp i was damn worried bout u..i kip on cryin til my eyes swell in de n morn..i kip on blamin myself y i cant tk k of u when u were in hosp??y am i stil at swak 4 ns??i realy feel lk wana go bk tat tyme bt im far frm u..al i can do is jz pray 4 u bi..well u noe al tis while u're de oli 1 im dam wry 4..so do tk k of urself while im nt beside u..

disappointed!!

im so damn freakin sad nw..tis morn i received a sms frm de agent tat im choosed 4 de miss hawaii beauty contest bt when i ask her in mr detail de event is at nite...sigh..i choosed 4 miss hawaii beauty contest bt i cant go 4 it cz my parents dun allow..cz de event at nite..i duno wat my parents thnkin..tis is my 1st step steppin into entertainment wrld which is my dream job..i alwiz bliv tat i can be wat i wan2 2 be cz i bliv on myself n al those ppl hu supportin me al tis while xpecially my bf..i kip on tellin myself nt 2 sad nt 2 sad..sighh...bt in my heart im realy so heart broken..i hv a chance 2 du it bt i hv 2 let it go cz of my parents..haizz...tis is so.......sighh...i duno when oli i can hv tis kind of chances again...................................

kah mun

oi..thnx ar soh po..u're de 1 hu teach me hw 2 ply blog..if n im realy blur enuf wif it..haha...neway u stil hv long way to teach me..i realy duno anythn bout it..