desmond's farewell party..

i dont know what should i start with but all i know is im not hapi on that day..
i went there with two of my friends..
1 is bb n 1 is weiwei..
at 1st we eat and then slowy slowy we get bored..
what can we do?
just sat at a corner while des busy serving customer..
although that day those guest who came is his secondary schoolmate but i stil feel not hapi on that day..
is not that he busy with other friends and i jealous..
no is not that easy!
at 1st i went in his room and help him pack things..
suddenly i found a diary book which belongs to him..
all the while i be with him i dint know that he got such diary..
he wrote it since 2005..
i dont know whats the purpose he still keep this diary for but i guess those thing that he bring to australia sure important to him..
i thought its for me but actually not..
i keep on cried and cried inside his room..
quietly without his knowing..
and i found a pair of earring and bracelet on his table..
he just told me that her friend put it in his bag so he just take it out and put it on table..
what can i say?just say yes and keep quiet..
i dont know whether i think too much or im not open minded enough..
i asked him not to drank alcoholic drink but still he dont listen to me..
am i dead???
and now he damn stress up with his friends because 1 girl and 3boys drunk and that girl sent to hospital cause she sick and yet she wana drink alcohol..
what a mess...
me and my 2 friends just keep quiet..
seriously speaking i dont like it!
and make me late back to home and get scolded from my parents..
i thought he will care me nore than his friends but actually im wrong!
totally WRONG!DAMN WRONG!!
thats why he break with me cause he prefer to be with his friends than me..
he premised me that on sun will bring me go genting but i think will cancelled!
he went to club with his friends after his party..
reach home almost 4-5 a.m..
he will sleep till the next morning afternoon..
there is no time for us to be together at all..
i already done my part..
what i will get back later doesnt matter..
just hope that he will pay little bit more attention on me..
thats all i hope!
i dont know how to mix around with your friends..
and me and my friends seems so sakai..
damn bored sitting on the chair nothing to talk or do..
i shouldnt go on that day..
thats my right choices for not goin club with you even i can..
cause i know you will damn drunk and flirt around with those club girls..
i dont wana see that!!i realy dont want!!
do you know that my heart feel so pain?
those pain that pain till no feeling..
do you know?
all you know is to enjoy with your friends i know..
me?just dump me aside..
the more i write the more sad i will be..
anyway,overall today im not happy at all!!