happy birthday and goodbye my love...

today is my birthday and also my beloved desmond mah leaving to australia for 4 years..

i feel so sad and miserable..

actually for me love is the ghosts for me..
which everyone talks about only few have seen in love..
very rarely do we win but when the love is true even if you lose..
you still win just for having the privilege of loving someone more than yourself..

i always ask him why he wana break with me??i treat him not good enough or what?
why his bro gf's can wait for 2 years but why cant him?

like i say..
love someone no need to get him/her..
des told me before that at least i get him as my bf for 2years before better than nothing..
and now i tink bak also feel kinda right..
i should be happy..
i found my lover..
i found my happiness..
i found everything here when i with him..

i feel like time not enough for me and him..
even if god give me whole life also not enough this is because i love you too deep..
i need you to stay beside me when i need you..
lend me your shoulder and hand for me to hold on when im sad..

all these became history in my life..
no more..
no more holding hand hang out anymore..
i miss it..
i miss those time we being together..
can we reverse back to our sweet time??
eventhough i know its impossible but i really do hope so..

what can i so now is look forward and not backwards..
the only way to make him happy is to continue my life happily..
im sure he dont want me to cry..
he like my smile..
he always hope that i can smile more..
but i always make him disappointed..
im sorry my love..

remember me always and dont ever forgot about me..
im always be there for you..
i will miss you very very very much..
miss you deep inside my heart..
although we far apart from each other and yet our heart so near..

today is my birthday and also most memorable birthday for me..
thanks for your everything..
and seriously speaking my heart damn pain..
i seriuosly dont want you to go..
do he have any choices?
the answer is NO!!!

everytime when i look at our pictures i sure very sad..
makes me think back our past..
tears coming out like pipe water..
not i want just that i cant control myself..
i realy tried very hard..
but still cant do it..
all i have to say is im sorry..


I LOVE YOU SO MUCH..................