I feel so.....

i feel so 'heavy'

i feel so down

i feel so moody

i feel so guilty

i feel so disappointed

*

*

Friends? [YES]

Love? [DEFINITELY]

Study? [KINDA]

Parents? [QUITE]

*

*

i never ever feel this kind of feeling before

hard for me to describe my feeling now

it's something very complicated

that cant just talk by words

*

*

problems keep happening on me this year

after a case then came another case

case by case it seems like never end!

i dont know whether i think too much

or

it's just my imagination all this while

i dont hope to think much too

but once shity things happened on me

ALL shitx things that i dont wish to think will come along too!!

*

*

It's not fun at all

my heart really really very suffer and pain

always asked myself

*

why do i deserved all this??

*

for the past 2 years i used to think alot

really alot damn alot

it's because of my latest ex

i getting much better after he leave me at the 1st place

good choice of leaving me

and i thought i can be like a bird

fly wherever i want

but actually i am wrong!

*

*

i feel myself like a prison

being spy for 24hours,365days

i dont really feel any freedom in myself

there is always a 'block' whenever i wanted to do something

i feel like i'm being controlled by someone else

no one actually can understand my feeling

they always thought that i'm the most crazy and insane one's

but how far do they actually understand about me?

*

*

Don't ever judge me without knowing the truth

*

*

knowing more friends and being more socialize

can help alot to release everthing

on saturday nite which is 25th of april 2009

location at outside poppy garden

i saw it with my own eyes what is so called true friends

*

*

it's actually all because of my fault

i'm the troublemaker ,i'm the stupiak shit

i bring 3 of my girls along and another one of my past few years ex bf

im not suprise that night almost having a big fight between my ex and another one guy

which is also friend of mine

im trying to settle with that guy but he still so stubborn

he makes me get on my nerves!!

i'm totally fed up and i drink alot at once..thanks ivan=)

not even an hour i almost knock off

doing something crazy where i dance on table..swt=.=

*

*

my girls very angry with my behaviour on that night

i'm sorry babe

they have to understand my situation too

cause that time i just finish arguing with the guy who wana fight

so i really very fed up!

i even shouted on my girls..

this is so not me

i never ever shout at my girls before

this is the 1st time

feel so guilty of what i did to you girls

will never happen it anymore i promise

*

*

Promise is always a promise.....

Way of my life...

MAYC!!!

i'm getting more and more blur about myself

i start to dont understand myself

what happen?

=(

people starts to stay away from you

why you still so stupid?

i guess i should bang against the wall now

people starts to dont understand me

what do i really need in my life?

LOVE?

FRIENDS?

CARRIER?

my life?

NO ONE can answer it for me

except

YOU cheah may see...

CHEAH MAY SEE

LISTEN UP HERE..!!

here is the few things that you must always remember:-

*

*

*

**always tell yourself to be tough

**dont die in someone's hand so easily

**enjoy my life as long as im alive

**not to trust someone so easily

**start a brand new life

**be myself

**cheers~

=)

--------------------------------------------------------------

what can i describe about

A heart without a soul

*

*

*

nowadays i feel that im getting far

far as in every single little things

is there really someone for me always when i needed?

is there always someone for me to count on?

is there really someone who willing to do it for me?

or just showing their second face to me?

Don't ever try to fake infront of me!!

FATED TO BE LONELY?

or it's just a test for me?

anyhow i will be tough to pass though everything in my life

*

*

*

tell myself to be tough but actually i'm not that tough

i have to go on with it no matter how

trying my best not to be emo

always the cheerful one's

most insane

yes i'm

sincerely from my heart

*

*

All the best in everything you do

Find a right person to be your partner

Do take care of yourself

Not to treat people like how you treat me

Live happily ever after

*To the one who you think you are

GOTCHA EVERYONE!!

hey hey...

I'm back back back!!

sorry been long time did not update my blog..ish..

this must be lazy bum!=.=

errr...

nothing much just keep on poker-ing

what the point of poker-ing?

i really dont know

I'm just addicted to it...ishh..

its not REAL money by the way

sounds so stupiak!!

even i dont even bother about my friends

sms no reply

msn set busy

call reject

mayc...where the hell are you?

ishhh..

i just want to POKER!!!

I'm sorry i dont mean it..

---------------------------------------------------------

let's talk about my school

ishhh..

everyday have to wake up so early

sleep late somemore..ish..

my EYE BAG!!!sobb..

anyway

yesterday my school having photography sessions

HATE IT!!

know why?

cause i look damn NERD in my school magazine..

what to do have to take also..

went back to my class

boringgggg

teacher MC

so what we do?NO

read?NO

do exercises?NO

chit chat?YES

take picture?ABSOLUTELY!!lolx..

here we are.....lolx..

=)

look so ugly without any make up
my lovely friends..=)muacck..=x

THAT'S ME!!

i'm not a good girl
or

perfect partner in life

DON'T PISS OFF with my attitude

because that's ME!!

will never change for others

stop being others

stop acting like others

being ownself is the best than ever!

i might hurt other people's feeling

i might hate by you guys n girls out there

sorry to tell you that this is mayc

there is no changes in me,myself and I

It's either you hate me or love me

i'm born to be myself

attitude,personality,style,way

everyone is special in their own way

SO DO I!!!

do your part,be urself

don't try to insult or judge people

there is nothing in this world perfect

in the end it will hit back to you

WHAT COMES AROUND WHAT GOES AROUND

*KARMA*

Word in mouth

Action in hand

Working in brain

just do your part!!!

**NO COMMENT,SPEECHLESS,NO WORD....

shutting down silently....

DAILY DIET..

today was my 1st day diet

usually i used to eat alot

but today totally a new day for myself

i used o eat more than 3 meals per day

i loves to eat those junkfood and tidbits as well

but starting from today

SAY NO TO MYSELF!

i saw many foods today

but i cant eat..

starting from today no meat,no rice not even vegetables

what i eat??

only yogurt,hi-fibre biscuits and fruits

thats all that i need..

i have to eat it for 3months continuously

i cant imagine how to take it

its like no choice for me to choose

only yogurt and yogurt

i promised myself that i will achieve what i want

as long as i got the heart to do it

i believe in myself

i must do it

nothing is impossible

i do look pale and today

can say as like sick people

i cant eat..i seems like those beggar who dont have money to buy

what to do??

i have to do it!!

losing my weight to 40kg is my target

i have to lose 5 more kg

ARGHHH..

so hard..really hard..wish me luck yea..

today i just ate 6 slides of biscuits,2 bottles of fat free yogurt drink

and YES I DID IT today..=D

even my stomach playing drums inside

all i have to think is after 3months

then i will be much better..=)

[lying my own stomach]ishhh..

Listen to my heart...

I'm in love with this song..

YES I DO!

for the first time i listen to it..

OMG..

*My heart melt*

this is an emotional song..

i used to listen to R&B but now i'm totally changed my mind..

this song bring me back to past...

-Let's feel the song..---->playlist track 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll sing it one last time for you

Then we really have to go

You've been the only thing thats right

In all I've done

And i can barely look at you

But every single I do

I know we'll make it everywhere

Away from here

Light up,light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you, dear

Louder,louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak,I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think i might not see those eyes

Makes it so hard not to cry

And as we say our long goodbyes

I nearly do

Light up,light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you, dear

Louder,louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak,I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say

Light up,light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be beside you, dear

Louder,louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak,I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say

Title-Run

Singer-Leona lewis

Copyright by Mayc

COME ON GIRLSS...

ish..

whats happening to me nowadays?

sometimes i really hate myself very much..

what the hell am i thinking?

what i really need?

and what i dont need?

all kind of things just happening around me..

friends problem..

love matter..

and my babe girls..ish..

end up four of us SINGLE..

what is this?is this what we deserved?

LOYALTY?

yes!

CARING AND SHARING?

yes!

LOVE THEM MORE THAN US?

yes!

is this what we deserved from you GUYS??

i really dont understand..

even we show our love to them but they still wont understand..

they are being SELFISH!!

mouth say different things but do different things..

this is what i observed all this while..

we put on our soul and heart but do they know?

i just dont understnd!!!!

my girlss...

BE TOUGH!!!

among four of us..

im the most crazy..

dont worry..

you all still have me..

so call sushi queen..lolx..>.<

although im not the most tough but after this half year broke up with him..

i do learnt something from it..

i hope you too ya girlss..

im always cheering up myself..

do something meaningful..

girlss..

i love you all so much..

*sorry for being emo..once awhile..so nevermind..confess it out better than put inside my heart

im in super big bag!!!

lolx...
went to work at my old place today at sg wang fourskin...
tiring day and boring cause the whole shop only i alone..
i saw mant of my friend today even i stayed inside my shop only..
lolx..
saw 1 of my msn friend...
omg!!
he recognise me...lolx..
he pass by my shop few times then only he dare to come inside and ask whether im mayc or not...
lolx..
shocked!
dont know why today i saw many of my friends..when im free..they not there for me..when im not free then like that...ish...
tik~tok~tik~tok~
*waiting for the time to pass...=.=
owh its 7P.M...
finish work..yahooo...
playing around with my supervisor...lolx..
come come take picture...


this is what i do after work..
SNAP 1

who is inside that bag?

SNAP 2

peace?lolx..someone inside there??

SNAP 3

tahhhrahh....IS ME!!!im inside a super big bag..lolx...

yeah!!i admit that im childish but sometimes makes some fun and make my friends laugh is my pleasure...
i willing to become the most stupid one's...lolx..>.<
end of my day today~~~

Happy aprilfool day..=)

lolx..
what day is today?its aprilfool..
ytd slept at 3something just to fool my friends around...
lolx...
yesterday who so 'lucky' fooled by me?
oh yeah i fooled 2 of my ex..
1 is alvin and another one is wooi liang..
both also kena by me..
lolx...dont la emo..chill la...>.<
i dont mean to hurt ya feelings...
it is aprilfool day..
so please dont blame me yea...haha...
1 year once la wei...chill...=D
i even fool on brandon super tall guy n he said i so lame..ish..
dont give face at all..=(
oh yeah not forgotten my penang friend baibai..
yuhooo...he knew i fool on him..ish...
not nice to play already..haha...
and last but not least...KEITH..
funniest guy in the world..lolx..
walk out with him i can laugh non stop...lolx..
from now on he became my papa...lolx..
hahahhaha..
keith keith..come on la..
u will found your dream girl soon alright?
you keep asking me to intro girl...ish..
where to find la??chow kit?lolx..
erhmmmm...
i believed in karma...
i kena few guys of them and now someone really fooled on me...
and he is nickman a.k.a mr.fucker...ish...
he called me at 1.30a.m..
the 1st thing he asked was 'where are you?'
i said im at home why?
he said he bang car upside down and he at police station now..
i was like....OMG......
i stunned for few seconds...
keep asking him ok or not..
then at last he said aprilfool...
LOLXXXXXXXXXXX....
i dont know i should be happy sad or angry...
3 also got at the same time..
so end up sms with keith till 3something...
FREAKING TIRED AND SLEEPY..lolx..

*Happy april fool day to everyone of my friends...GOTCHA!LOLX..