i feel so 'heavy'
i feel so down
i feel so moody
i feel so guilty
i feel so disappointed
i never ever feel this kind of feeling before
hard for me to describe my feeling now
it's something very complicated
that cant just talk by words
problems keep happening on me this year
after a case then came another case
case by case it seems like never end!
i dont know whether i think too much
it's just my imagination all this while
i dont hope to think much too
but once shity things happened on me
ALL shitx things that i dont wish to think will come along too!!
It's not fun at all
my heart really really very suffer and pain
always asked myself
why do i deserved all this??
for the past 2 years i used to think alot
really alot damn alot
it's because of my latest ex
i getting much better after he leave me at the 1st place
good choice of leaving me
and i thought i can be like a bird
fly wherever i want
but actually i am wrong!
i feel myself like a prison
being spy for 24hours,365days
i dont really feel any freedom in myself
there is always a 'block' whenever i wanted to do something
i feel like i'm being controlled by someone else
no one actually can understand my feeling
they always thought that i'm the most crazy and insane one's
but how far do they actually understand about me?
Don't ever judge me without knowing the truth
knowing more friends and being more socialize
can help alot to release everthing
on saturday nite which is 25th of april 2009
location at outside poppy garden
i saw it with my own eyes what is so called true friends
it's actually all because of my fault
i'm the troublemaker ,i'm the stupiak shit
i bring 3 of my girls along and another one of my past few years ex bf
im not suprise that night almost having a big fight between my ex and another one guy
which is also friend of mine
im trying to settle with that guy but he still so stubborn
he makes me get on my nerves!!
i'm totally fed up and i drink alot at once..thanks ivan=)
not even an hour i almost knock off
doing something crazy where i dance on table..swt=.=
my girls very angry with my behaviour on that night
i'm sorry babe
they have to understand my situation too
cause that time i just finish arguing with the guy who wana fight
so i really very fed up!
i even shouted on my girls..
this is so not me
i never ever shout at my girls before
this is the 1st time
feel so guilty of what i did to you girls
will never happen it anymore i promise
Promise is always a promise.....