Monday, April 27, 2009

I feel so.....

i feel so 'heavy'
i feel so down
i feel so moody
i feel so guilty
i feel so disappointed
Friends? [YES]
Study? [KINDA]
Parents? [QUITE]
i never ever feel this kind of feeling before
hard for me to describe my feeling now
it's something very complicated
that cant just talk by words
problems keep happening on me this year
after a case then came another case
case by case it seems like never end!
i dont know whether i think too much
it's just my imagination all this while
i dont hope to think much too
but once shity things happened on me
ALL shitx things that i dont wish to think will come along too!!
It's not fun at all
my heart really really very suffer and pain
always asked myself
why do i deserved all this??
for the past 2 years i used to think alot
really alot damn alot
it's because of my latest ex
i getting much better after he leave me at the 1st place
good choice of leaving me
and i thought i can be like a bird
fly wherever i want
but actually i am wrong!
i feel myself like a prison
being spy for 24hours,365days
i dont really feel any freedom in myself
there is always a 'block' whenever i wanted to do something
i feel like i'm being controlled by someone else
no one actually can understand my feeling
they always thought that i'm the most crazy and insane one's
but how far do they actually understand about me?
Don't ever judge me without knowing the truth
knowing more friends and being more socialize
can help alot to release everthing
on saturday nite which is 25th of april 2009
location at outside poppy garden
i saw it with my own eyes what is so called true friends
it's actually all because of my fault
i'm the troublemaker ,i'm the stupiak shit
i bring 3 of my girls along and another one of my past few years ex bf
im not suprise that night almost having a big fight between my ex and another one guy
which is also friend of mine
im trying to settle with that guy but he still so stubborn
he makes me get on my nerves!!
i'm totally fed up and i drink alot at once..thanks ivan=)
not even an hour i almost knock off
doing something crazy where i dance on table..swt=.=
my girls very angry with my behaviour on that night
i'm sorry babe
they have to understand my situation too
cause that time i just finish arguing with the guy who wana fight
so i really very fed up!
i even shouted on my girls..
this is so not me
i never ever shout at my girls before
this is the 1st time
feel so guilty of what i did to you girls
will never happen it anymore i promise
Promise is always a promise.....

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Way of my life...

i'm getting more and more blur about myself
i start to dont understand myself
what happen?
people starts to stay away from you
why you still so stupid?
i guess i should bang against the wall now
people starts to dont understand me
what do i really need in my life?
my life?
NO ONE can answer it for me
YOU cheah may see...
here is the few things that you must always remember:-
**always tell yourself to be tough
**dont die in someone's hand so easily
**enjoy my life as long as im alive
**not to trust someone so easily
**start a brand new life
**be myself
what can i describe about
A heart without a soul
nowadays i feel that im getting far
far as in every single little things
is there really someone for me always when i needed?
is there always someone for me to count on?
is there really someone who willing to do it for me?
or just showing their second face to me?
Don't ever try to fake infront of me!!
or it's just a test for me?
anyhow i will be tough to pass though everything in my life
tell myself to be tough but actually i'm not that tough
i have to go on with it no matter how
trying my best not to be emo
always the cheerful one's
most insane
yes i'm
sincerely from my heart
All the best in everything you do
Find a right person to be your partner
Do take care of yourself
Not to treat people like how you treat me
Live happily ever after
*To the one who you think you are

Saturday, April 18, 2009


hey hey...
I'm back back back!!
sorry been long time did not update my blog..ish..
this must be lazy bum!=.=
nothing much just keep on poker-ing
what the point of poker-ing?
i really dont know
I'm just addicted to it...ishh..
its not REAL money by the way
sounds so stupiak!!
even i dont even bother about my friends
sms no reply
msn set busy
call reject
mayc...where the hell are you?
i just want to POKER!!!
I'm sorry i dont mean it..
let's talk about my school
everyday have to wake up so early
sleep late somemore..ish..
my EYE BAG!!!sobb..
yesterday my school having photography sessions
know why?
cause i look damn NERD in my school magazine..
what to do have to take also..
went back to my class
teacher MC
so what we do?NO
do exercises?NO
chit chat?YES
take picture?ABSOLUTELY!!lolx..
here we are.....lolx..

look so ugly without any make up
my lovely friends..=)muacck..=x

Monday, April 13, 2009


i'm not a good girl
perfect partner in life
DON'T PISS OFF with my attitude
because that's ME!!

will never change for others
stop being others
stop acting like others
being ownself is the best than ever!

i might hurt other people's feeling
i might hate by you guys n girls out there
sorry to tell you that this is mayc
there is no changes in me,myself and I

It's either you hate me or love me
i'm born to be myself
everyone is special in their own way
SO DO I!!!

do your part,be urself
don't try to insult or judge people
there is nothing in this world perfect
in the end it will hit back to you



Word in mouth
Action in hand
Working in brain
just do your part!!!


shutting down silently....

Saturday, April 11, 2009


today was my 1st day diet
usually i used to eat alot
but today totally a new day for myself
i used o eat more than 3 meals per day
i loves to eat those junkfood and tidbits as well
but starting from today
i saw many foods today
but i cant eat..
starting from today no meat,no rice not even vegetables
what i eat??
only yogurt,hi-fibre biscuits and fruits
thats all that i need..
i have to eat it for 3months continuously
i cant imagine how to take it
its like no choice for me to choose
only yogurt and yogurt
i promised myself that i will achieve what i want
as long as i got the heart to do it
i believe in myself
i must do it
nothing is impossible
i do look pale and today
can say as like sick people
i cant eat..i seems like those beggar who dont have money to buy
what to do??
i have to do it!!
losing my weight to 40kg is my target
i have to lose 5 more kg
so hard..really hard..wish me luck yea..
today i just ate 6 slides of biscuits,2 bottles of fat free yogurt drink
and YES I DID IT today..=D
even my stomach playing drums inside
all i have to think is after 3months
then i will be much better..=)
[lying my own stomach]ishhh..

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Listen to my heart...

I'm in love with this song..
for the first time i listen to it..
*My heart melt*
this is an emotional song..
i used to listen to R&B but now i'm totally changed my mind..
this song bring me back to past...
-Let's feel the song..---->playlist track 2
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing thats right
In all I've done
And i can barely look at you
But every single I do
I know we'll make it everywhere
Away from here
Light up,light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak,I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think i might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do
Light up,light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak,I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
Light up,light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be beside you, dear
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak,I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
Singer-Leona lewis
Copyright by Mayc

Monday, April 6, 2009


whats happening to me nowadays?
sometimes i really hate myself very much..
what the hell am i thinking?
what i really need?
and what i dont need?
all kind of things just happening around me..
friends problem..
love matter..
and my babe girls..ish..
end up four of us SINGLE..
what is this?is this what we deserved?
is this what we deserved from you GUYS??
i really dont understand..
even we show our love to them but they still wont understand..
they are being SELFISH!!
mouth say different things but do different things..
this is what i observed all this while..
we put on our soul and heart but do they know?
i just dont understnd!!!!
my girlss...
among four of us..
im the most crazy..
dont worry..
you all still have me..
so call sushi queen..lolx..>.<
although im not the most tough but after this half year broke up with him..
i do learnt something from it..
i hope you too ya girlss..
im always cheering up myself..
do something meaningful..
i love you all so much..
*sorry for being emo..once nevermind..confess it out better than put inside my heart

Saturday, April 4, 2009

im in super big bag!!!

went to work at my old place today at sg wang fourskin...
tiring day and boring cause the whole shop only i alone..
i saw mant of my friend today even i stayed inside my shop only..
saw 1 of my msn friend...
he recognise me...lolx..
he pass by my shop few times then only he dare to come inside and ask whether im mayc or not...
dont know why today i saw many of my friends..when im free..they not there for me..when im not free then like that...ish...
*waiting for the time to pass...=.=
owh its 7P.M...
finish work..yahooo...
playing around with my supervisor...lolx..
come come take picture...

this is what i do after work..

who is inside that bag?


peace?lolx..someone inside there??


tahhhrahh....IS ME!!!im inside a super big bag..lolx...

yeah!!i admit that im childish but sometimes makes some fun and make my friends laugh is my pleasure...
i willing to become the most stupid one's...lolx..>.<
end of my day today~~~

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Happy aprilfool day..=)

what day is today?its aprilfool..
ytd slept at 3something just to fool my friends around...
yesterday who so 'lucky' fooled by me?
oh yeah i fooled 2 of my ex..
1 is alvin and another one is wooi liang..
both also kena by me..
lolx...dont la emo..chill la...>.<
i dont mean to hurt ya feelings...
it is aprilfool day..
so please dont blame me yea...haha...
1 year once la wei...chill...=D
i even fool on brandon super tall guy n he said i so lame..ish..
dont give face at all..=(
oh yeah not forgotten my penang friend baibai..
yuhooo...he knew i fool on him..ish...
not nice to play already..haha...
and last but not least...KEITH..
funniest guy in the world..lolx..
walk out with him i can laugh non stop...lolx..
from now on he became my papa...lolx..
keith keith..come on la..
u will found your dream girl soon alright?
you keep asking me to intro girl...ish..
where to find la??chow kit?lolx..
i believed in karma...
i kena few guys of them and now someone really fooled on me...
and he is nickman a.k.a mr.fucker...ish...
he called me at 1.30a.m..
the 1st thing he asked was 'where are you?'
i said im at home why?
he said he bang car upside down and he at police station now..
i was like....OMG......
i stunned for few seconds...
keep asking him ok or not..
then at last he said aprilfool...
i dont know i should be happy sad or angry...
3 also got at the same time..
so end up sms with keith till 3something...

*Happy april fool day to everyone of my friends...GOTCHA!LOLX..