Saturday, February 28, 2009


1st of all i need to thanks to all my cheerleaders and also my juniors who work hard everyday..
staying back everyday after school i knew its tired but this is ous SPIRIT!!
what we got we deserved it!!!
we work hard train hard..
my march past juniors is just form 1..
so tiny n short they look so cute..
i feel so pity for them sometimes cause they have to stand under the sun for quite long..
and me keep shouting and scolding them during pracitising..
if i dont do that they wont listen to me and they wont do it properly..
teacher were giving me pressure and all of them not doing properly..
really make me so stressful..
can i say it out?NO!!
im entering 1500m..after that i when for cheer..after that 4x100m..
keep on changing clothes....=.=
i cant believe that my juniors did so well yesterday at stadium bukit jalil..
we won RM500 for our cheer..YEAH!!!
all this while i have been under the sun to train with them not wasted!!
eventhough im getting darker and darker..
serious shit im freaking tired last whole month..
not only busy with sports day but also my outside training for MSSSMKL..
we look great on that day..we look COOL...we look pretty handsome...
Me and shilla-->

oppssy..out butt..=p

WE WON SHILLA!!!!!!!im so happyyyyy.....
Me tia shilla-->

my babe...muaxxxx...
my flag holder-->

i look handsome yea?haha..
all my cheerleaders-->


Tuesday, February 24, 2009


The heart of someone who fells with someone half the world apart;

i thought you we're just like all the others
until you proved to me wrong
im scared to lose you
im scared because i've finally realized
how much u mean to me
i think your the amazing boy ever
and if i could pick anybody it would be you
i get that strange feeling when your around
im scared to do something wrong
to make you wan't to leave
i pretent not to care
but really i care more than anybody in the world
loving you is like breathing,how can i stop?
i get this best feeling in the world when you say hi
because i know for a second i crossed your mind
meeting you waas fate,becoming your friend was a choice
but falling in love with you was beyond my control
once i dropped a tear into the ocean,the day i find it is the day i stop loving you
one thing i may have to say is ILOVEYOU

Monday, February 23, 2009


problems always occur..
hate it..
im gonna get mad soon..
this saturday is my school sports day and yet my stupiak cheer shirt like shit only..
they already measured according to my body and they still sew it like shit only..
no eyes see..
so damn big..
cheer shirt not suppose to be big..
take a look---->

big fat lady also can wear it..
i guess if i wear it on sports day sure like shit!
hate it!
dont know how my junior design shirt..!!
i need to design my matchpast junior also ar..f**k la..
no much time left..*dying

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Mr fucker birthday...

1st of all happy birthday to mr fucker..
old friend of mine..
today is his birthday so i as his friend should celebrate with him..
knew him since i was form4..
i stil remember our 1st meet at photo sticker shop..
we went to watch movie..
[eden lake]-horrible
after that we went to eat ichiban sushi at pavillion..

after that we went to eat at jogoya,starhill..
kinda like there..
enviroment sux..
RM100 per person somemore..=.=
kinda many food to eat..cause its buffet..

both of us dint eat much cause befire this we ate at ichiban..
you happy he is..haha..
enjoying his lamb chop..

he knew that i like to eat 'kam jam ku'
he purposely went and take a bunch of it..
OMG!!!thats alot...
he really crazy feller..haha..

today is his birthday..
not forgotten cake of cause..
too bad there dont have a big cake but in pieces..
have variety of choices..
we took tiramisu,chocolate crunchy,black forest,and 3 more different flavour..

wow..look delicious yea?hehe..
after cake what would be the next??
yea..thats right...
haegen-denz of cause..
we took six different flavour also..hehe..
vanilla,tiramisu,summer berries,coffee,corn and cookies and cream..

saliva dropping out??haha..
both of us eat till so full..
especially him..

i really hope he enjoy his birthday today..
nothing much can do for you but just this..

Friday, February 20, 2009


oh yea..
thats my cheerleading team!!
we are the best!hehe..
we perform well today..
GOOD JOB!!to myself as well..=p
i managed to remember all the steps and my position too yea..
kinda happy with my own performance today..
overall is ok but stil need to sharpen it up!!
next week more busy..
wednesday-[full rehearsal at school]
thursday-[full rehearsal at bukit jalil]
saturday-[sports day]
tiring week once more..
i still havent design shirt 4 my junior..
dont know what to put on their shirt..
help me plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
im so blur..
next week ar..
no much time left..
i have alot of work to do..
my gosh!
this is to teach us not to become a president..
really really very tiring..
makes you frus like HELL..
have a break have a.....[fill in the blank]

Thursday, February 19, 2009


i got cheer preview tomorrow after school..
im so nervous..
my brain work kinda slow..
so sometimes i will forgot my position..
so what i do was write down all in my hand..
at least got something for me to review..
so stupiak of me..
always busy with my running no time go for my cheerleading practise also..
i have to catch up with it..sighh..
my study as well..
this whole month totally very busy..
then next month which is march gona have inter zone athletic tournament..
im so stress uppppppp.....
is there someone willing to lend shoulder for me to ly on with my sweaty face??
hahahha..i guess no one right?
dirty cat of me..=p
i went to school this afternoon at 12something..
so i have to went up a staircase which kinda long..
wow just nice,primary school kids all finish school..
arghhhh...HATE IT!!
shout here and there..
so i just keep quiet and walk..
half way walking up suddenly a little girl step on my shoes..
i look at her..she look at me..[staring]
not even a sorry..=.=
show me stupid face some more..
that wan i really cant tahan anymore..
so when she walk infront of me i just step back on her shoes and her shoes left behind...wakakak..syok!
padan muka..
although im kinda childish this time but this is to let them know what is the meaning of manners..
one 19 years old bully one 7yrs old girl..blek..=p

Friday, February 13, 2009

what's happening to me??

what's happening to me?
i feel not well this whole week..
is just like something wrong but i dont know what's wrong..
went to bath just now..
then when i spit it some water then i saw some blood too..
im scared..
those blood not abit but quite many..
my both hands starts to peel off skin..
just started..
i have no time to go see doctor right now..
im totally busy with my training and so on..
im so frasturated!!
i cant give up so easily and i have to be patient no matter how..
i just knew that i dont care much about my health..
i dont know what to do now..
dont care!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

tournament week..

what a sad week for me..
from tuesday till friday got tournament for meeeeeeeeeee....
before this my left leg muscles cramp..
cramped till now..=.=
already 1 weeks plus i guess..
really very tough and pain but i have to run also no matter how..
for the 1st day i ran 800m..
thought got confident can win the end 2nd..sob..
sprain my right leg that time..what de..
now both leg damn cacat..
walk here pain walk there pain..
i guess i need a wheel chair right now..
how am i going to go out on this coming weekends??
its valentine day..
and yet today is still continue my last event which is 1500m..
run run run half way gastric..
padan muka!!
but anyhow i need to continue to finish off my event..
this year is my last year to run for my own school..
no chance le..
im old enough already..
in the whole stadium im the oldest in a nice word eldest la..keke..=p
so embarassing cause i lost to a 16 years old girl..
i entered 800m n 1500m also saw that indian girl..
both events i also lose..
both events also 2nd..sigh..
she is really good in long distance..
i admit that im old enough to compete with them..sigh..
what can i do now is to concentrate in my sports day..
train all my juniors in march past..
do my best in cheerleading..
thats all im hoping now..

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

19th birthday celebration..

1st of all im not hapi cause my ex leaving me on my birthday..
once i arrived at airport i dont feel good..
those feeling i have is just very sour taste..
he was busy settle his check in and taking picture with his friends..
no much time with him after he gave me my birthday present..
although its small and light but very valuable and meaningful..
i will keep it nicely and in good condition even after 4years..
his frz fetch me go to airport and back to airport as well..
go that time just me,keat.keke and ting pei..
back that time more geng..
me,sam,ji sheng,steven,keat and ting pei..
im the birthday girl on that day so i sat infront..hehe..
4 of them like sardine at behind..haha..
damn funny..
half way going back then saw mcd..
stop there then celebrate with those nooby..blek..
keat pay for my meal cause he said i dint eat anything since morning so he treat me as my birthday present..
so sweet of him..
he went to the mini market just right beside mcd and bought haegen denz ice cream for me a cake..
cake must have candle right?
market got no
keat's idea again..
i dont know what kind of expression should i show them..
i keep on laughing..
really damn funny looking and noob look..
they gave me a most memorable birthday celebration even its simple but very meaningful..
its shows their heart in..
thankz alot..
and dont forget that keat promised that will celebrate single valentine day with me..
promise is always a promise..blek..
next heading to jogoya,starhill..
eat with another group of friends from penang..
they are wei wei,loong loong,bai bai and lim lim..
all of them guyz and i call their name till like girls..
we have our dinner over there..
nice food nice buffet i like it..
pay 100 per person but i seems lk eat 20 bucks food only..
although my friends treat me and yet i feel that not worth..
i ate so little..
although this time my 19th birthday celebration he not here with me but i still can be so happy..
this is what he hope to see from me..
i wont make him disappointed..

Sunday, February 8, 2009

happy birthday and goodbye my love...

today is my birthday and also my beloved desmond mah leaving to australia for 4 years..

i feel so sad and miserable..

actually for me love is the ghosts for me..
which everyone talks about only few have seen in love..
very rarely do we win but when the love is true even if you lose..
you still win just for having the privilege of loving someone more than yourself..

i always ask him why he wana break with me??i treat him not good enough or what?
why his bro gf's can wait for 2 years but why cant him?

like i say..
love someone no need to get him/her..
des told me before that at least i get him as my bf for 2years before better than nothing..
and now i tink bak also feel kinda right..
i should be happy..
i found my lover..
i found my happiness..
i found everything here when i with him..

i feel like time not enough for me and him..
even if god give me whole life also not enough this is because i love you too deep..
i need you to stay beside me when i need you..
lend me your shoulder and hand for me to hold on when im sad..

all these became history in my life..
no more..
no more holding hand hang out anymore..
i miss it..
i miss those time we being together..
can we reverse back to our sweet time??
eventhough i know its impossible but i really do hope so..

what can i so now is look forward and not backwards..
the only way to make him happy is to continue my life happily..
im sure he dont want me to cry..
he like my smile..
he always hope that i can smile more..
but i always make him disappointed..
im sorry my love..

remember me always and dont ever forgot about me..
im always be there for you..
i will miss you very very very much..
miss you deep inside my heart..
although we far apart from each other and yet our heart so near..

today is my birthday and also most memorable birthday for me..
thanks for your everything..
and seriously speaking my heart damn pain..
i seriuosly dont want you to go..
do he have any choices?
the answer is NO!!!

everytime when i look at our pictures i sure very sad..
makes me think back our past..
tears coming out like pipe water..
not i want just that i cant control myself..
i realy tried very hard..
but still cant do it..
all i have to say is im sorry..

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH..................

Saturday, February 7, 2009

desmond's farewell party..

i dont know what should i start with but all i know is im not hapi on that day..
i went there with two of my friends..
1 is bb n 1 is weiwei..
at 1st we eat and then slowy slowy we get bored..
what can we do?
just sat at a corner while des busy serving customer..
although that day those guest who came is his secondary schoolmate but i stil feel not hapi on that day..
is not that he busy with other friends and i jealous..
no is not that easy!
at 1st i went in his room and help him pack things..
suddenly i found a diary book which belongs to him..
all the while i be with him i dint know that he got such diary..
he wrote it since 2005..
i dont know whats the purpose he still keep this diary for but i guess those thing that he bring to australia sure important to him..
i thought its for me but actually not..
i keep on cried and cried inside his room..
quietly without his knowing..
and i found a pair of earring and bracelet on his table..
he just told me that her friend put it in his bag so he just take it out and put it on table..
what can i say?just say yes and keep quiet..
i dont know whether i think too much or im not open minded enough..
i asked him not to drank alcoholic drink but still he dont listen to me..
am i dead???
and now he damn stress up with his friends because 1 girl and 3boys drunk and that girl sent to hospital cause she sick and yet she wana drink alcohol..
what a mess...
me and my 2 friends just keep quiet..
seriously speaking i dont like it!
and make me late back to home and get scolded from my parents..
i thought he will care me nore than his friends but actually im wrong!
thats why he break with me cause he prefer to be with his friends than me..
he premised me that on sun will bring me go genting but i think will cancelled!
he went to club with his friends after his party..
reach home almost 4-5 a.m..
he will sleep till the next morning afternoon..
there is no time for us to be together at all..
i already done my part..
what i will get back later doesnt matter..
just hope that he will pay little bit more attention on me..
thats all i hope!
i dont know how to mix around with your friends..
and me and my friends seems so sakai..
damn bored sitting on the chair nothing to talk or do..
i shouldnt go on that day..
thats my right choices for not goin club with you even i can..
cause i know you will damn drunk and flirt around with those club girls..
i dont wana see that!!i realy dont want!!
do you know that my heart feel so pain?
those pain that pain till no feeling..
do you know?
all you know is to enjoy with your friends i know..
me?just dump me aside..
the more i write the more sad i will be..
anyway,overall today im not happy at all!!

Friday, February 6, 2009

day by day~~

left 3days..

dont know what i really can do for him in this 3days..

im trying hard to do my best for him before he leave..

hope that he will like those things that i do it on my own for him..

variety of cookies,photo album,enlarged picture me and him..

the week before he leave is the week where i suffer the most..

but no matter how he always be the 1st in my heart..

i will think of him 1st before i do anything..

how about him?same as me or....??

i really dont know..

he actually dont allow me to follow him go to airport at the 1st place..

then i told him that day is my birthday and i keep beg him to let me go with him..

at last today he allowed!!thnx god..

eventhough i celebrating with him at airport but i feel so satisfied!!

this is because i can be with him til the last minute..

hope that he will remember me and keep contact with me in this 4years time..

cant be couple??nevermind..friendship is enough for me..

thats all i hope..

those memories between us will always in my heart forever and ever..

Monday, February 2, 2009

happy moments..

happy moment is not always got..

we have to appreciate everything..everything..really everything..

and so i have to write down every single things that happen between me and you..

yesterday you just came back from korea trip with your family and im sure you must be very tired..

i waited for your call and message till this morning..

shows 9 A.M. sharp you message me and says 'bi..morning..'

i straight away woke up and replied you,,,

i ask why you wake up so early and u answered 'i miss you'

then u called me out and wil reach my house at 1030 A.M.

bring me out for breakfast at island cafe located at setapak..

heading to sg wang to fix your hp and we took sticker picture at 2nd floor..

it takes about few hours there..haha..

going to times square watch movie but no ticket..sob..

stupiak cinema so small..

we sat and chit chat for awhile..

went to see watch and walk awhile..

time pass by so fast..

already 5.30 P.M. and he need to fetch me back early cause he got things to do..

when we go out from times square main door..

OMG!!rain heavily!!

he took out his jacket and cover over my head..

at that moment my feeling comes back..

but it no longer..

have to seperate with him no matter how..

happy moments doesnt last long..