Friday, October 31, 2008

I REALLY LOVE U!!

i type tis blog is after i argue wif him..wif al my tears coverin my face..n drop dwn to my leg..seriously i realy din argue wif u..i realy wan tok wif u in a nc way jz tat u cant control ur hot temper..i realy cant put dwn tis relatinship so easy..i realy cant!!im weak in tis matter..y u can jz mk such decision in so sudden??u hurt me so serious tis tyme..i realy du hurt me so deep!!!tis is my 1st tyme lub a guy so deep inside n hurt til so deep!!i get dump by him..m useless..nt evn suit him at al..he is nt satisfied of wat im duin 4 him al tis while..mayb im nt gd enuf..im hopin tat 1dae god wil return him bk to my side bt nw i noe is impossible..he's hatin me nw..he hate to talk wif me..hate to msg me..he hates al de thng tat i du..each tye when i tink of those swt memories when together i feel so heart broken..hw cm he cant be lk last tyme so lub me..so k bout me..WHY???thre is alwiz que btw me n him..i noe he's de most understnd me de guy..oli he can read wat i nid n wat i wan..tats wat mk me so lub him..n he admitted tat i lub him mr than he lub me..i dun mind..i can tolerate him 4 evythn..lub sum1 is nt askin them to change bt accept their weaknessess..im changin n acceptin bt he du1 me to do so..al he wan is to break wif me..tat wil mk him feel mr hapi..he doesnt wan ans my phne at al..which means he realy hate me..i did alot of thng which mk him hate me alot..i realy feel myselfso useless..cant be apart of his life..bt he took al my life!!bi..i realy miz u alot..plz dun jz leave me lk tat can ma??i wan accompany u til u leave..i du1 u to mk such a decision 4 no reason n i hv 2 accept it wif my broken heart..plz let me go tru it wif u til de end can ma????i beg u plzzz cm bk 2 me.......

YOU DECIDED IT..

today after i finish wrk at 6pm i straight received a msg frm him..he ask me when oli i off..so i said tis sun i off..so he asked me to go out eat lunh wif him cz he gt sumthn to discuss wif me..i kip on wonderin wat he wil talk wif in de conversation..actually i du1 to c him bt i hv 2 face de fact..no matter wat ans he gv me i hv 2 accept it..i tot sun would b gd news bt he actually decided to break wif me de..he said v jz go out lk normal frz oli..n dun argue wif him..i dun feel lk argue wif him at al..jz wan be wif him til he leave me..cz he wil be goin aus to continue his study nx yr feb..time pass by realy fst..haiz..he dun evn let me 2 b wif him in tis 3mnths..im so heart broken..he wan me to be independent n learn to live without him..he tnk he du al tis is 4 my own gd bt 4 me no..he dun evn ask 4 my opinion n he mk such a decision..1yr 8mnths de relationship jz lk tat???he's my 1st bf which is de longest bf being wif me as wel..so i appreciate him vy much n i put al my heart n soul onto tis relationship..bt at last??i jz wan b wif him til he leave me..lk tat aso cant??y god wan treat me lk tis??WHY????i realy wanted to shout I LOVE U tis wrd to him once mr..I MIZ U 2..last time he promised me tat wil let me be wif him til he leave me bt nw..he suddenly changed his mind..wat to do?i realy duno..sun.........i duno wat wil happen on tat dae...al i nid 2 du is jz wait.....

Thursday, October 30, 2008

mood swing~~

today is 30th oct 2008..my bf went to clubbin wif his frz once mr..de last clubbin tat he went was on 23th oct 2008..i duno y he wan go so offen bt neway i trust him tat he wun du sumthn which is bd n nt gd..de purpose im lettin him go jz 2 gv him mr freedom n du wat he wan..if he realy changed his heart i aso cant du anythn bt jz accept de fact!he make my mood swing~~sad~~depressed~~feel dwn~~wat can i du??i wan him 2 accompany me bt he alwiz nt free cz he's tryin to mk himself bz by goin gym alwiz..he tryin to escape frm me..wat can i du then??jz follow wat he's duin..i jz wan him hapi..tat's al..dae by dae..waitin 4 his ans..no mr hapi blog..bt sad blog.been dwn 4 1 wik..ytd he told me tat he wil find me today after i finish wrk bt at last??he went to clubbin wif his frz n i walkin alone lk no whre..searchin 4 frz 2accompany me..haizz..is thre realy sum1 hu realy can accompany me??been long tyme alone walkin after wrk..duno whre 2 go..hv no way n place to go..realy hup tat he can spend sum time wif me..as wat he used 2 cal me last tyme which is 'ma fan ren'..troublemaker..tat name realy suit me..i alwiz gv him trouble..i miz his voice callin me 'ma fan ren'..i realy miz him alot..bi..if u gt read tis blog plz mk it clear..i realy trust u..i realy lub u deep in my heart..i hv no way to 4gt u o lettin u go by nw..i cant sty strong..im so weak..plz dun force me..i cant du it..i can tolerate u no matter hw u treat me bt hrdly to let u go..im sowie..4gv me plz...[I LUB U] [I MIZ U]

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I'M USELESS!!!I'M A JERK!!!

hmm..at last i waited 4 him so long..he msg me last mid9..chat wif him tru msn ytd nite til 2am..n i slept at 3am cz i realy cant slp well ytd nite n woke up at 6am..jz slp 3hrs..sigh..eyes swell lk panda!go skul al my classmate ask me wat happen to my eyes..i dint tel them my prob at al..i duno y jz dun feel lk tellin them..jz wan kip quiet n blurt out al in blog bt nt them..tat's hw i feel..after knowin my 2nd bf which is my blog..i feel tat myself gettin mr quiet than b4..dun lk 2 share my feein wif other ppl bt blog..sigh..today he gt fine me..bt jz 2 pass bk my LG phne 2 me..hup to c him longer bt he hv 2 rush bk cz nid du sum other thng..nt evn 1 min tyme..bt im hapi tat he cm find me evnthough its jz 1 min..its mr than enuf!he's much mr beta than b4..stil gt sms me bt less..dint cal me le..miz his voice so much..1day nt evn 10sms i guess..bt at least he gt sms me..stil y clear in my mind which he said duno y evytyme when he find me he feel so angry n his tempere starts to cm..i feel so hurt when i hear tat kind of wrds cm out frm his mouth..heevn said he vy hrd 2 communicated wif me..mayb tats true!!i duno hw 2 tink 4 him..i duno hw 2 be his perfect gf..im nt his misses right!im a jerk!nt suit 2 being wif him..he lub freedom bt i cant gv to him..wan he wan i aso cant gv him..im useless..im a JERK!!nt worth 4 him to lub me anymr..shudnt b wif him at 1st..wasted his 2yrs time wif me..

dear desmond.listen up..no matter wil u read tis blog o nt tis msg is especially 4 u..go ahead wif wat u hv decided..dun alwiz change ur mind..i respect ur decision..i wil du..u jz du wat u feel tat its rite..im ok wif it..go ahead n achieve wat u realy nid..i'll alwiz b by ur side n support u al de way n pray 4 u as well..du tk k of urself..

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

please return him to me...

today dy 2nd day he din cal me..sms me..o even msn..ytd nite i waited him 4 so long til 2am..usuallly i wil slp at 12sumthn bt duno y ytd cant slp at al til 2am..sighh..no respond frm him at al..til nw..sobb..wat does tat mean??finish?o jz gvin us sum time 2 calm dwn??i dy calm dwn long tyme ago n i din angry at him at al..jz tat he too ovr limit on sumthn tat he done..he told me tat he nid freedom..mayb he's enjoyin his freedom without me rite nw..al he nid nw is single life..tis is wat he told me last 2days til i cry out infrnt of so mny ppl at sunway..tats nt gd!i jz cant stp cryin once he called me..i so miz him rite nw..i wan2 hear his voice..i wan2 hug him..bt wat i can du nw is jz can imagine..he's nt thre 4 me when im sad..i duno hu to find accept blog..evn nw im bloggin i aso cryin infrnt of my laptop..i feel lk evythn gone in jz blink of eyes..y god wan2 treat me lk tis??izit bcz i du too mny bd thngs??i realy duno...plz tel me..plz help me 2 get bk my bf desmond mah..i realy lub him so much..i cant stp missin him evn when im slepin..i alwiz put my hp beside my bed so tat he can find me anytyme..bt dae by cae..hours by hours..min by min..sec by sec stil no sms o cal frm him..o evn sumtymes i dun dare 2 slp cz i scared he'll msg me at mid9..i long tyme no type sms to him which i put his name on my phne 'notti boy'..long tyme no type 'bi' tis wrd 2 him..can i hear it jz once??i dun tink so i gt de chance..im totally dwn rite nw..without him beside me 2 cheer me up i feel life is so........sighh...does any1 noe hw 2 stp me frm cryin??and so im pryin to god 2 return my dear desmond mah 2 me................

Monday, October 27, 2008

sad or happy??


hmm..im wonderin rite nw..today izit a happy dae 4 me o a sad dae 4 me as well??hm.hapi cz i gt 2 close frz of mine accompany me today cz dey noe i nt hapi tis few daes cz of my bf..v kip on laughin around n foolin around..tink of them aso feel so crazy!!haha..wif their funi lookin face..hahahaha..cant stp laughin!n v ate de whole dae aso..duno whre 2 go cz ts n sg$ vy sienz le..go here n thre aso de same place..v jz sit inside restaurant n chit chat lo..take pic wif our dummy face on..haha..in addition today is deepavali..as a malaysian v shud celebrate it aso..ops!o mayb nt!1sowie..duno wat im sayin..=.= de prob im nt hapi bcz i waited de whole dae 4 my bf 2 cal me o msg me bt stil dint receive any cal frm him yet..sighh..missing him damn alot..both of my side aso my frz bt inside my mind is thnkin of my bf..n kip on takin out my hp n c whether he gt msg me o nt..sighh..dy 5days dint c him le..i miz him alot bt i duno he gt miz me o nt?i alwiz wndrin wat's he duin rite nw??i wanted 2 cal him bt i du1 disturb him 1st cz he nid sum time 2 tink whether shud v stil together o nt..al i hv 2 du is be patient while waiting 4 his ans..no matter wat is his final decision i hv 2 accept de fact..al i can say is jz [I LOVE U]..

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Love me not??

wat can we say bout love??wat can we say bout in lub wif sum1??is thre realy a lub btw both of them o jz 'monkey lub' which plying around n fooling around??sumtymes i realy feel weird y gal n guy must be loved by each other a??y must dey be 2gether??jz 2 hv baby??o jz 2 hv sweet memories btw them..hmm...i realy duno...hw gd if a couple together nt without argue bt less argue..so jealous some of de couple so sweet n can last long..realy salute them!!tis is de 1st tyme i being wif a guy 4 1yr 8mnths..i tot i realy found my true lub le..i tot he'll lub me alwiz n wun hurt mr bt nw i noe al guyz cant b trusted!!i gv him wat he wan..bt he take it granted!i control him abit he dun lk..wat can i du then??tis nt tst nt..haizz..today early in de morn we argued..mk me cry til my eyes swallow lk shit!then evenin he called me again n argue wif me..cried infrnt of mny ppl sumr cz im at sunway tat tyme..so paiseh!!i jz cant hide my feelin..i tryin to mk myself nt 2 tink bt i cant..i kip on laughin lk those gal cm out frm tg.rambutan..mk myself excited bt it jz frm outside nt inside..he called me bt argue wif me..i realy duno wat he tink..n jz nw 10sumthn he called me again..argued abit bt nt realy argue..jz my mood swing n mk me kinda fieerce so i fast fast say i gv him sum tyme 2 tink carefully wat he wan b4 he made his final decision!then i jz put den de phne if nt ii scared i'll say wrg things..i du1 2 hurt him o gv he stress anymr cz he dy vy stree up wif his car which spoil dy 3days ago..plus his parents kip mumble him tis n tat n mk him feel so annoyin..i'll stand at his side n tink 4 him as well jz tat he duno..al i can du nw is jz gv him sum tyme 2 calm dwn himself so he wun mk wrg decision..=(

Saturday, October 25, 2008

is there anyone??

hw cm be in a relationship so hrd a??y izit so complicated??cant mk it simple??im in teribble sad tis few days...cz of my bf dint listen to me..i dy tolerant wif him bt stil he dun realize his fault..wat can i do 2 mk tis relationship bk lk last tyme??i din angry him..i jz kip my mouth shut when i noe he go clubbin..evnthough i dun lk he go bt i hv 2 let him go..wat he wan du i gv him du..wat he wan i aso gv him..bt at last wat i get?did he realy understnd hw i feel??when he in bd mood scold me..when he in mood??find hu?sure nt me..i dy try my best to tolerant him..bt did he appreciate me??i blurt out al my feelin jz tru tis blog..n my best frz..other than tat no1 can un me well..sumtymes i realy feel lk wan2 find sum1 to talk wif bt thre is alwiz no1 thre 4 me..al i can du is jz cryin alone inside my room coverin wif pillow so tat my parents duno..is thre realy sum1 hu willin to share me their shoulder........??

Friday, October 24, 2008

wat am i suppose to do??

haizz..im so sad today~~early in de mornin i received a msg frm my frz told me tat he saw my bf at MOS..last tyme i dun evn gv my bf go clubbin at al cz i noe once guyz go thre sure du sumthn which dey duno de..tat's y i dun let him go..bt after i go 2 ns on mac then he started 2 go wif his frz le..i HV 2 accept de fact cz i cant alwiz stp him frm goin aso..he gt his own rite..so on tat dae onwrds i told him..if he wan go clubbiin can...jz nid 2 tel me by sms-ing me a msg tat he's goin to clubbin nw..bt stil he dint do so..1st tyme he go without telin me make us hd an arguement..then tis morn which is ytd mid9 he go is de 2nd tyme he dint tel me..i realy dun understand..he jz nid 2 tel me by sms me oli ma..lk tat aso vy hrd izit??he kip on doin tis kind of thng wil mk me feel tat he at outside gt other gal..hu wont angry if he do tis kind of thng 2 his own gf??some more v dy almost 2yrs la..stil wan lie me..i realy duno wat's in his mind..al i noe is he kip on lying me..i duno wat's de purpose of it!!i stil rmb wat my best taught me..she said..each tyme when i feel sad o angry at him jz tink of hapi moment wif him..n it realy wrks..so nw wat i nid 2 du is jz calm dwn myself n tink positively..i jz hup he wil understnd me 1 dae..plus he wun noe hw i feel cz he dun evn read my blog..sighh..im realy sad today....TOTALLY SAD........

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

STRESS UP!!!

haiz...duno y nowadaes after i wrk feel stress up la..nt bcz of wrk actually..jz feel sumthn wrg wif me!!mayb i create it my own o wat i aso duno..1st is bout skul!!2nd is wrk!!3rd my parents!!i duno whether myself create it out o wat..jz feel so uncomfortable..nt bcz of wrkin actually.!!duno wat i tinkin nwadaes..feel lk mny thngs cm in my mind so sudden!!aiyer..human's life realy so complicated!!full of challenge!!haizz..tis is hw life goes on............

Monday, October 20, 2008

DEPRESSED!!

wat's goin on??i realy duno hw 2 bcm a promoter either a gd worker..al dy tried my best 2 satisfied it bt stil i dun un y dey willk tis..2dae 1st dae of wrkin i bcm so frzly wif them..usually im nt tat frzly neway..dey so cool 2me..nt as in nt frzly o wat..jz dey way dey being..i feel so uncomfortable when wrk wif them..usually i wrk at other places vy enjoy y job tat's time pass by vy fst..bt 2dae i oli wrk 8hrs dy tired lk shit n so BORED!!!no customer..nth 2 talk wif those worker..evn when i smile 2 them,dey jz pretend duno anythng..wat de hell??did i du anythn wrg?damn f***ing thng is CANT ue hp at al!!!!!til u go bk oli can tk hp!!tis is ridiculous..!!whre gt ppl wrk til lk tat??i realy duno hw those worker thre can wrk in tat company!!i raly beh tahan dy..soon gona find new wrk again!!HAIZZZ...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

you're my everything!!muax..

ARHHHH!!!so swt of my bf..he bought a phone 4 me today which is LG KU990...I'M LOVING IT!!!i wanted to buy it long tyme ago d le..at last my bf buy it 4 me today..actuallyy he said 2ml oli buy de bt i du1..kip on annoying him..at last he realy go buy it 4 me..OMG!!im so damn hapi!!i realy speechless..too hapi!!gosh!at de same tyme i found new job le..at sg$ 2nd flr fourskin..hehe..nt bd nt bd!!i quite lk it..enviroment la of cz..2ml start wrk le..huh..MZ BE TIRING!!=.=

Saturday, October 18, 2008

love luck??


triangle??square??NOP!!segiempat tepat??NOP!!is lub luck!!wat can v say bout triangle??wow..mny kind of diff stories bout it aso..as wat they said..when sum1 choose triangle..dey canot choose!once u saw it means u mz buy it!tis is wat i heard frm other ppl la..real o nt im nt sure bout tat..bt logicially tink la..de ans is yes lo..cz triangle gt mny kinds of clr..which can mk us feel nt 'loyal'..haha..tis is de photo of my triangle wher my bf bought it 4 me at hk plus a bracelet..im so suprize when my bf buy tis 4 me..cz when i alwiz pass by triangle shp n i kip annoyin infrnt of my bf he aso dun k n wun buy it 4 me de..duno y he suddenly go hk n buy it 4me..tis is wat mny ppl said..guy wun alwiz shw out hw deep dey lub their gf til its de rite tyme of it..nw i realy bliv in it!tat's de TRUE!!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

WHAT'S WRONG WIF ME?

my goodness..wats happenin to me?wats wrg wif me?am i ugly?o im too choosy??i ask fur job in few shps..bt 1 aso du1 hire me..wat de hell..izit im 2 ugly 4 them??at 1st they said wan hired me then went de nx dae i called them 4 double confirmation then dey said fulled..wat de hell??i realy duno hw 2 find wrk anymr..y izit nwadaes so hrd 2 find wrk??o yet im nt qualify 2 be in their shp??bt they r jz sellin clothes..bt their clothes is kinda diff frm others la..kinda special..tats y i choosed tat job..bt..sighh...mayb bcz of im choosy..ya ya ya..it al my fault!!stress up til duno y suddenly i went n piers my belly..wat de..i scared of it long tyme ago bt suddenly i wanted 2 du it..realy so SUDDEN!!neway..today is my worst dae in mth of oct!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I LOVE YOU!!!


hmmm..my bf cm bk frm hk ler..mizz him alot..dy 3daes din hear his voice ler..at last i mit him up today..we went out de whole dae..so hapi!hehe..he bought me alot of stuff frm hk..n i lk it vy much..hehe..din noe tat he realy lub me n sek me so much..cz v hv been though so mny thngs n i tot he changed bt actually nt..jz tat im 2 sensative sumtymes..bt after today i noe hw's his heart 2me le..proud 2 hv him as my bf..lub u bi!!u bought de thng tat i wan it long time ago which is 'triangle'!!de purpose i wan u 2 buy it cz i hup u wil oli lub me n ur heart alwiz alwiz be wif me..de triangle tat u bought it sure vy nc and mean alot 2 me cz de 1st triangle tat u c it tats de 1 tat u nid 2 buy it..canot choose choose de!thnx bi..muax..u bought me few jackets so tat i wun get cold when i wrkin..i bought me chocolate cz tats my favourite..u bought me bracelet cz i find tat design 4quite sum time at last u found it at hk..u bought me popteen magazine cz u du1 me get bored when i nth 2 du..thnx bi..i realy lk it!!MUAXXX!!!!!!

nice job??

yuhhooo..i found my job at sg$ 1st floor..can say as they fulfill of wat i wan la..almost de same wif my last tyme wrkin place..their clothes quite unique..bt 2bd they nid part tyme nw..im findin 4 full tyme anyway..so i requested them 4 me 2 wrk full time..nid wait til 2ml oli i noe de ans..if nt 2ml i can start wrk de ler..sighh...nowadays find a job aso hrd..duno bcz im fussy o wat..haizz..i wanted 2 wrk freelancer job bt al aso no respond after i sent my profile them..wat de..=.= mayb im 2 ugly 4 them..sigh..and sumr de job tat i found it nw duno nc o nt..jz lk their shp oli..haha..swtt..

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

hw to find a good job??

sighh..im so sick of findin job nw..i went to sg$..ts..o evn pavillion..i noe sg$ gt mny vacancy bt i stil cant find de job tat i wan..neway im kinda fussy person so im kinda particular in findin job..jz hup 2 find a job which kinda free n nth much 2 du cz im lazy..>.<>.<

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

HAPPY DAY!=)

hmm..duno y im so happy de whole dae..mayb its bcz my bf came bk frm hk today lo..hehe..he din cal me..mayb he otw cmin bk kl..miz him alot..at de same time my skul dint study 4 whole dae 2dae after my 7daes exam..my exam 2dae oli takes 1hr..fuhhh!!NOW im FREE!!haha..findin job nw!n my bf promised me b4 tat he will bring me go gentin n sunway lagoon ply de..YEAH!!!i gt bk my muet exam ppr aso 2dae..n i noe my ovr all marks ler..i gt band3..tat's nt vy gd bt anyhw in my class highest oli gt band4..haha..so i dun tink so tat i gt bad result rite?am i??haha..bt i stil quite hapi wif my result la cz i dint study at al aso can get band3..haha..stupid de me!yuhooo...i get 2 receive my souvenir frm my bf ler..i wonder wat he wil buy 4 me??hehe..no matter wat he buy i sure wi lk it de cz he understand me vy well..bt im fan-ing bout my job..findin 4 job nw bt i duno whre 2 wrk at..sigh..any job can intro 2 me??NO BUTT SELLING!BOOBS AS WELL!!HAHA..=)

Monday, October 13, 2008

life is so complicated!

whre??y??sigh..duno y kinda moody in tis few days..stress up wif exam??arguement wif frzZ??miz my bf which i din hear his voice 4 2daes dy..??o mayb myself mk al tis thng happen??i realy duno..last week i went out wif my frz jz feel moody n du1 to talk much..evn 2ml is my last dae of my final exam bt stil i dun feel hapi wif it..suddenly feel lk no1 k bout me..feel so lonely..i wan2 hear my bf's voice..duno hw's his condition nw..im wonderin wat he duin rite nw..at de same time im fan-ing in findin job..as i noe my old place which i wrk thre last yr wan2 close up ler..so duno whre 2 find nw..haizz...life is complicated!!cant v jz mk it mr simple??i wonder y human's life is jz lk tat??sum said our life vy long bt sum said vy shrt jz lk candle..bt du u agree wif tat??i realy duno..at least nw i stil can continue my life wif al those happiness tat my bf gv it 2 me..bt after he go to aus,ALL tis thng gone in jz blink of eyes..each tyme when i tink of it i jz feel my life so EMPTY!NO COLOURS!wat he gona du ovr thre??i noe he went 4 his studies bt wat can i du here then??wait 4 him?leave it??o jz 4gt bout our 2yrs relationship??sighh...v cant predict wat would happen in de future bt i can imagine hw my life go on after he leave me..i cant stp him frm goin..i hv no rite 2 du tat neway..tis is 4 his own future..i MUST let him go no matter hw..al i nid 2 du is jz pray 4 him alwiz n wish him al de best in his life in aus..wil lub him so much!!!!!oh gosh!!wat de hell am i duin rite nw?oh yea..im jz tellin it out without knowin it..sigh..tis is me..s2pid of me!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

bored day!

me ar...he ar..she ar..sigh...duno la..early in de morn i find frz 2 go out wif me cz i lub 2 go out on weekends rather than jz sty at hm nth 2 du..tis is me!!i mai find my best frz lo..A cant pui me..so i went n find B which is my ex n aso close frz of mine..evnthough v couple b4 bt our frzship stil so close..nt mr than tat of cz!im hvnin my bf at de same time..i lub him so much..so i wun do sumthnn which betrays him de!!I LOVE U MY DEAR DIIWEN!!i went wif my net frz..kinda bored..4 de 1st dae v went out quite hapi de bt sunthn occured btw us so nw mk our frzship gt sum prob..i duno hw 2 describe his attitude bt de way he treat me kinda diff..n i feel nt comfortable when wif him..aARGHHHHH!!so i quickly called B n he went to orphanage hse..sigh...nid 2 wait 4 him so long til my moustache aso grwin longer n longer..sigh..bt wat can do?wait him til 430..anyhw de movie starts at 400..he late ler!!when in movie watch tat stupid house of bunny!!wat de!!although its funi bt 4 me kinda bored..no point!!kip on shwin their BIG BOOBS!!huh??go bk tat time hv sum arguement wif B sumr..tat tyme i dy nt in mood n feel moody bt stil gt stupid prob happen..haizz..anyhw its nt a big deal!duno y de whole dae feel lk 1 kind!!it makes my dae so bored after al findin al mt frz..sigh!!frz a frz 2 go out wif me aso hrd!!human life was so complicated!!=.=

Friday, October 10, 2008

worry bout u bi!

sob..today early in de morn i dy wake up ler..wanted 2 cal u bi bt u off ur phone..i noe ur flight is at 9 am..i wk up late ler...i 830 oli wk up u dy in flight ler i guess so..newy..u're goin 4 ur hk trip wif ur frz..it sounds so fun..2bd i cant follow u..i totally wry bout ur safety nw..well u noe tat u dy involved in 8 accidents in tis 2yrs..frnt bk side top twist evy part u aso bang b4 ler..i realy du1 tis kind of thng happen on u again..u're 1 n de oli 1 i lub..i du1 sumthn bd happen on u..it realy mk me mad!!4 example when i was in ns tat tyme u were in hosp 4 few daes..siggh..when u called me n told me tat u're in hosp i was damn worried bout u..i kip on cryin til my eyes swell in de n morn..i kip on blamin myself y i cant tk k of u when u were in hosp??y am i stil at swak 4 ns??i realy feel lk wana go bk tat tyme bt im far frm u..al i can do is jz pray 4 u bi..well u noe al tis while u're de oli 1 im dam wry 4..so do tk k of urself while im nt beside u..

disappointed!!

im so damn freakin sad nw..tis morn i received a sms frm de agent tat im choosed 4 de miss hawaii beauty contest bt when i ask her in mr detail de event is at nite...sigh..i choosed 4 miss hawaii beauty contest bt i cant go 4 it cz my parents dun allow..cz de event at nite..i duno wat my parents thnkin..tis is my 1st step steppin into entertainment wrld which is my dream job..i alwiz bliv tat i can be wat i wan2 2 be cz i bliv on myself n al those ppl hu supportin me al tis while xpecially my bf..i kip on tellin myself nt 2 sad nt 2 sad..sighh...bt in my heart im realy so heart broken..i hv a chance 2 du it bt i hv 2 let it go cz of my parents..haizz...tis is so.......sighh...i duno when oli i can hv tis kind of chances again...................................

Thursday, October 9, 2008

kah mun

oi..thnx ar soh po..u're de 1 hu teach me hw 2 ply blog..if n im realy blur enuf wif it..haha...neway u stil hv long way to teach me..i realy duno anythn bout it..